Ethan's safety net
by Kayxxx
Summary: Ethan had always been Cal's safety net, but will he ever find someone to be his? One month after the car accident involving the ED's doctors and things were beginning to get back to normal. Everyone was finally moving on, well, not exactly everyone. Ethan had not been the same since the accident. He is called out with the paramedics to the scene of a car crash how will he react?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one

It had been just over a month since the car accident involving half the ED's doctors, which resulted in the death of one of the most beloved paramedics the hospital had. Jeff had succeeded in getting all casualties out of the side swiped people carrier, but it unexpectedly went up in flames before he could get out himself. With the passing of Jeff and his funeral just a month ago, things in the ED were finally getting back to normal. All five doctors involved in the accident were back to work. As for Ethan - he was the one who suffered most from the accident both physically and emotionally - he remained in hospital under the care of the nurses for a week after the accident before he was strong enough to leave. Ethan was the driver of the car that was side swiped, the accident c_aused_ him a lot of trauma. He was unconscious at the scene and if it wasn't for his brother Cal he wouldn't have survived as his condition deteriorated as he lay in the hospital ED. Ethan was the one who was most taken by the accident, he had always been known to be sensitive by his fellow colleagues but even Cal was shocked by how he reacted. Ethan's way of thinking was: because he was driving that day he felt at fault at the death of Jeff. All in the ED had tried to persuade him out of his trail of thought but nothing anyone could've said would have changed his way of thinking, he was filled with guilt.

Although all doctors had been back at work for a while now, Ethan just over two weeks, all kept wary of Ethan after seeing how affected he was by the accident. Dr. Hardy would come into work, making sure to keep himself busy all day, then leave to go home, turning down all offers to go to the pub after work and only talking to his colleagues in a professional manor if needed. His colleagues had given up trying to get anything out of him at this point, no one bothered trying to involve him in any conversations, the offers to go to the pub had diminished; they already knew the answer so why bother asking? All Ethan would get is the odd sympathetic smile if he made eye contact with someone long enough. He just saw work as work, not somewhere to socialise. Cal kept a watchful eye on his younger brother at all times knowing he couldn't keep up this act for much longer.

"By the looks of things we're gonna need a doctor on site" Dixie spoke to Charlie, both looked towards Cal looking for a volunteer. Just as Cal opened his mouth to put himself forward for the part Ethan stepped up "I'll go" all looked towards him stunned, this was the most he'd spoken to any of his colleagues since he came back.

"I was beginning to forget what your voice sounded like" Max joked with a cheeky grin, Ethan pushed up his glasses forcing a slight smile.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Charlie whispered edging closer to Ethan, "Yes. I just want things to go back to they way they were, before-" he stopped himself there bearing in mind Dixie (Jeff's wife) was standing before him.

"Ethan love, are you sure you want to do this?" Dixie asked concerned "positive." Ethan urged. "You do know we're heading to the scene of a vehicle collision?" Dixie informed. Ethan hesitated for a moment, the memories of the crash flashed through his mind, he closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. "Well, I do now" he tried to joke awkwardly with a smile, no one seemed amused "I'll be fine" he confidently reassured all the watching crowd.

"Okay then" Dixie nodded "meet me in the station when you're ready" she added turning and heading for the ambulance station. Ethan looked around at the both sympathetic and concerned watchful eyes of his colleagues before coming across those of his brother's. Cal began to walk over to his younger brother "are you sure you're ready for this?" Cal asked coming level to his brothers eyes. "As I'll ever be" Ethan replied convincingly as he brushed passed Caleb.

He walked into the staff room and closed the door behind him making sure he was out of sight of all the watching eyes. Leaning back against the door he closed his eyes and took in some deep breaths, "come on" he took in a deep breath "you can do this" he whispered to himself his voice trembling as he spoke. He was snapped out of his thoughts as a light knock tapped on the door he was leaning on. Ethan turned around looking though the window, he saw Charlie waiting eagerly to enter, he pulled open the door and stepped back allowing Charlie to walk in.

"Ethan.." Charlie sighed, Ethan leaned back against the wall awaiting Charlie's lecture. "Listen I know you want things to go back to normal but you don't have to act a hero" Ethan scoffed sarcastically looking toward the ground, _he _was no hero.

"If this will be too much for you say so now, because we can't be having you-" "Charlie.." Ethan started cutting him off. "I'm fine. I can see why you're all concerned" he looked back over his shoulder out of the staff door window seeing his colleagues swiftly turning away so it looked like they weren't looking in. The only person who kept his stare was Cal, who had concern etched on his face. "But I'm not stupid. If I thought I wasn't up for the job I wouldn't go, not for my sake but for the sake of the casualties" he explained turning back to meet Charlie's gaze "me not being fully focused would mean putting people's lives in danger and that's not in my job description" Charlie sighed with relief "that's all I wanted to know" he smiled "I never had any doubt in you, you're the best the ED has to offer" he praised, Ethan smiled at the ground awkwardly. "Now go get ready Dixie's waiting" Ethan nodded shyly and walked to get changed.

Dixie sat in the Ambulance awaiting Dr. Hardy. She looked around reminiscing the memories she had with her husband and best friend Jeff in this very vehicle. She smiled as she held a tight grip of the steering wheel. She was suddenly brought out of her soothing thoughts when the passenger door opened and Ethan climbed in. He strapped himself in and let out a sigh "are we ready?" Dixie asked, Ethan hesitated for a moment before nodding his head. Dixie started the ambulance and drove out of the station heading for the scene of the crash.

Once they reached the crash scene Ethan was taken back by the sight. Memories flashed through his mind, he closed his eyes and gripped onto the sides of his seat. "Ethan?" Dixie spoke softly, placing her hand on his shoulder "are you sure you're okay to do this?" He nodded, still with his eyes closed, his breathing was deep "Ethan darling, look at me" she ordered. She placed her hand on his chin and gently turned his head to face her. He opened his eyes that were filling up with tears, Dixie repeated herself again "are you sure you're okay to do this?" She spoke firmly. He took a deep breath and fought back his tears "yes." He answered in determination, he then turned and stepped out of the ambulance shutting the door behind him, leaving Dixie inside without a second thought.

**First chapter of my first casualty fic, I'm really look forward to continuing this. I will try to update as often as I can, I already have a few chapters written which I will publish soon. This will be more like an "ongoing story" which I could carry on for as long as you guys want as I've got lots of ideas ready to write. I really would love to know what you think and if you have any tips/ideas, thanks happy reading! Kayxxx :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**First of all I would just like to say thank you to everyone for all the lovely reviews, it's nice to see people are enjoying so far! If anyone has any ideas/tips/improvements please let me know it will be much appreciated. This is chapter two of "Ethan's safety net", (it's quite a long chapter) I'd love to know what you think! I will try my best to update chapters daily for people who are wondering. Anyway here it is, enjoy! Kayxxx :)**

Chapter two

This was no "normal" crash. A wedding double decker bus - full with wedding guests - had toppled over trying to avoid hitting a car that swiftly cut in front. Big Mac made his way over to Ethan, shocked to see it was him but saying nothing on the topic knowing from talk in the ED how he'd recently been feeling over these last couple of weeks,"right, Dr. Hardy, although this looks like a nasty crash most are walking wounded and have been seen to already. There is just one casualty, she's stuck in the bus and will need cutting out, she has been unconscious for about ten minutes and her pulse is weak. She's the reason we called for a doctor." Mac spoke as he lead Ethan to the scene "right okay..where is she?" Ethan nodded taking in all Mac had just said "Right here" Mac and Ethan kneeled down on the floor at the front of the smashed up bus "by the looks of things she was the only one without a seat belt on when the bus toppled." Mac informed.

"Mac can I get some help over here?" Dixie called from the distance as she struggled with a casualty fighting treatment "are you okay here?" Mac asked "yes go, I'll be fine" Ethan spoke looking at the bloody girl laying before him.

His mind went completely blank. He kneeled before her anxiously trying to think, all that was in his mind was the memories of him being flung around the car in the accident, before everything went black. He thought about the words his brother had spoken to him as he lay in the hospital bed "you are my safety net, you're all I've got" Cal's words echoed in his mind, he closed his eyes tightly trying to rid the voice of his brother. He was shook out of his haunting thoughts when the girl before him began to move, his doctor mode kicked in automatically.

"Oh, erm..Hello, my name is Dr. Hardy, you've been involved in a car accident just try and remain as still as you can for me whilst I assess you okay?" These were the exact words Jeff had spoken to him when he awoke from the accident. Ethan placed his hand in the girls hand "Don't try to speak, if you can hear my voice squeeze my hand" the girl squeezed Ethan's hand lightly "okay that's great, don't try to move I can see you're having some trouble breathing so I'm going to place an oxygen mask onto your face, this will help you with your breathing" he placed the mask on girls face, her breathing steadily began to ease. "I'm still here, I'm going to stay here with you the whole time".

The girl began to open her eyes, blinking slowly as she done so. "Hi" Ethan brought his face closer to hers, "wow you have beautiful eyes I must say!" The girl smiled under her mask "how is your vision? Can you see me fine? I'm really awkward and geeky looking, really big glasses?" He joked, the girl laughed as she pulled the oxygen mask away from her face "yes I can see you" she spoke breathlessly "ah I'm sorry about that" he joked again as he placed the mask back over her mouth.

"Just keep taking deep breaths on that for me" he motioned towards the mask. He placed two fingers on her neck, beneath her jawline "your pulse is becoming more steady which is a good sign" Ethan informed her pleased. The girl pulled the mask back off her face again "I'm fine" she protested pushing Ethan's hand away as he went to place it back onto her face. "Okay, but if your breathing gets at all harder you have to let me know okay?" "Okay." She agreed.

"It looks like we could be here for a while so we may as well get to know each other a bit better, what's your name?" He looked down at her "Amber" she smiled "Amber, ahh a pretty name to match a pretty face!" Amber winced "are you in pain?" Ethan asked concerned "it's just..my leg" she closed her eyes tightly in pain "yeah that would be the piece of metal sticking into it, my colleague is supposedly on his way with something for the pain but he must've gotten sidetracked" he looked around for sights of Big Mac "I'll go and get some from the ambulance, just keep still for me okay?" Ethan began to stand "no please don't leave me, you said you'd stay here the whole time" she tugged onto his shirt "but the pain..?" "It's bearable." She smiled as Ethan sat back down again next to her. "What was your name again?" She asked breathlessly, "Ethan" he smiled as he placed the oxygen mask back on her face. "Ethan" she repeated smiling under her mask.

"Oh no" she grumbled rolling her eyes. "What's up?" Ethan questioned concerned "next week, I have job interview" she sighed "nice! What job?" "Doctor, ironically" she laughed, Ethan laughed a long "ahh right so everything I'm saying to you, you probably already know, right?" She nodded with a smile. "What hospital?" Ethan continued. "Holby City ED, have you heard of it?" "Heard of it? I work there!" He laughed. "Oh my gosh really?" She asked embarrassed "yes, how weird!" Ethan replied. "Well don't you be worrying Amber, I'll get you to that interview next week no matter what" he held her hand tight "and that's a promise" he said with a wink.

"Ethan how're you doing?" Dixie called from behind "Fine Dixie, just waiting on Mac to bring some pain relief" he shouted back. Ethan turned to meet Amber's gaze, her eyes seemed distant, her pulse had slowed dramatically. "Stay with me okay Amber, just keep looking at me, don't loose consciousness" Ethan urged "It's, really, cold" Amber spoke slowly fighting for breath. Ethan took off his over coat and placed it over her in attempt to keep her warm. He sympathised for her as just over a month ago, he was in exactly the same position. "Keep your eyes open Amber, keep looking at me" Ethan tried to stem the blood pouring from her leg "I know you're probably sick of looking at me now because it's been about-" he pulled up his sleeve and looked at his watch "nearly an hour now, wow! Time flies when you're-" Ethan didn't finish that sentence realising what he was about to say didn't fit properly.

"when you're trapped under a bus" Amber joked finishing Ethan's sentence "well I've never heard that one before, who knew!" Ethan laughed. Amber closed her eyes "no no, Amber you need to stay awake for me okay, you're nearly out now it won't be long" Amber nodded effortlessly.

"How long?" Ethan called over to the firemen who were cutting Amber free from the bus she was trapped in "2 minutes tops" the fireman replied.

"Amber listen, I'm starting to get concerned, your pulse has slowed way down and I'm worried you'll loose consciousness again which is what we don't want, I'm going to have to go to the ambulance to get my bag, this will have the instruments I need to treat you" Ethan explained Amber shook her head aggressively "don't...leave" she spoke struggling for breath even with the oxygen mask on "Amber you're a doctor right?" She slowly nodded "okay so you know the seriousness of this situation and I'm going to be perfectly honest with you and say, if I don't get this bag there is a great chance that I could loose you and I'm not going to let that happen because I promised you I'd get you to that job interview next week and I don't break my promises" Ethan kneeled down and tilted his head level to hers "ah now see, you'll be able to see me get to the ambulance from here" he said pointing ahead of them "I'm about what? 20 steps away, don't move stay exactly as you are but follow my feet as I walk okay?..and don't close your eyes!" He smiled "I'll be right back" He got to his feet and ran to the back of the ambulance as fast as he could. He grabbed the bag that sat just by the open door and knelt down under the ambulance giving Amber a wave before he ran back to her "see, how fast was that?! Like I never left" He said as he reached her and started rummaging through the bag. "24" Amber whispered, "what?" Ethan replied confused. "it was 24 steps away" she replied breathlessly "you counted" Ethan smiled to himself as he looked down into the bag he had placed onto his knees.

"She's free" the fireman informed Ethan "Dixie, Mac! I'm going to need some help over here!" Both ran over instantly, Dixie ordered Mac to get a board to place Amber on "what have we got?" Dixie asked looking down at Amber "this is Amber, she has a weak pulse, she was KO'd when I got to the scene but came through not long after my arrival, we we're have a good old chat when she began to deteriorate again quickly, she also has metal sticking into the back of her leg but she's now cut free, I was worried it might have cut into the artery however I'm pretty sure she may have missed it by centimetre or so, luckily! I thought I had the stemming of blood under control but going by how fast she deteriorated and how her temperature has dropped I would say it's due to blood loss" Ethan informed her gesturing to Amber's leg. "Right okay" Dixie examined her. "She also knows everything we're saying because she's a doctor and funnily enough she has a job interview at holby next week!" Amber smiled under her mask "Ah you're going to become part of our team ay kid?" Dixie smiled. Mac came with the board. "Right Amber we're going to move you now, you know the drill, just try and keep as still as possible for us".


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks again for the reviews everyone! It's nice to see people are interested. Many people have tried predicting what will be coming up for Ethan in the story going off chapter two, hopefully you'll like the path I have chosen to take which will become more clear in future chapters. If anyone has any improvements/tips/ideas please let me know! **

**This is chapter three of "Ethan's safety net" I really hope you enjoy, I'd love to know what you think of it and where you hope the story will lead! It would be cool to hear what people think of the character "Amber" so feel free to comment on that, please don't feel like you have to be nice, just be honest! :p Thanks again, enjoy! Kayxxx :)**

Chapter three

As the ambulance pulled into the ED Ethan readied himself to get Amber stable as soon as possible. The doors opened and Ethan jumped out. Dixie helped pulling Amber's trolley off the ambulance, waiting at the hospital entrance was Charlie and Cal.

Dixie began to explain Amber's situation to Charlie as they all walked into the ED. Cal walked beside Ethan behind the trolley, "how was it?" Cal asked, Ethan ignored his brother completely, keeping his eyes on Amber at all times. Cal sighed realising his little brother was still in his "distance everyone and everything around him" mood.

"Ethan? Where's Ethan?" Amber called from the trolley in front of them "I'm here!" Ethan ran beside her trolley holding her hand giving her a smile. Both Cal and Charlie looked at the pair surprised. "How did he do?" Charlie whispered into Dixie's ear motioning toward Ethan "well on the way there he was a bit shaken up but by time we got to the scene he was in his element, isn't that right Dr. Hardy?" Dixie said raising her voice so that the younger man could hear but he was far too busy focusing on Amber to even hear the conversation between Charlie and Dixie.

"Eth!" Cal called from behind them causing him to snap out of his Amber bubble. Ethan just gave the pair a smile before looking back down to comfort Amber. "I think he's found a friend for life along the way too" Dixie teased motioning towards Ethan and Amber.

Cal stepped back in shock at how his presence wasn't needed. "What was that about?" Max looked over Cal's shoulder "Looks like Ethan's found himself a girl if you ask me" Lofty spoke over Cal's other shoulder. Cal looked at Max then to Lofty before shaking his head in disbelief and heading back to cubicles. Max and Lofty looked at each other impressed. "Oh we have to get a closer look at this".

Ethan stayed with Amber making sure to get her stable, once stable he began to clean up he wounds starting with her leg preparing it for stitching before moving to her face. He placed his hand on her chin and brought his face close to hers as he inspected her cuts carefully, she blushed slightly as she looked into the eyes of the doctor. Ethan smiled awkwardly, "okay..well these all look like superficial wounds to me, which luckily for you means that-" he cut himself off seeing Amber smile at him knowingly "..means that I should stop trying to explain everything to a doctor who could quite possibly know more about her own condition than I do" he joked pulling off his gloves. Amber laughed "no don't worry, you're just doing your job which, can I just say you're doing amazingly, seriously! Two hours ago I thought I was going to die, now look at me!" Amber praised amazed with the doctor's work. "Well you're actually the one who's done most of the work, your body has been through a lot, I just gave it some assistance a long the way" he stating backing away from Amber's compliment modestly, refusing to take credit for her recovery. He looked down at Amber's notes "If things continue as they are right now it's looking hopeful for you getting discharged today" Ethan informed her looking up with a grin. Amber replied with a smile. "Do you have to go now?" She asked, seeming almost devastated. She looked out the window at Lofty and Max who were peaking through the blinds. "I'm sure I can stay a while longer" he whispered sitting down in the chair that was placed beside her bed.

"I'm here to do some stitching" Cal announced as he waltzed into Amber's room, her eyes lit up as she watched the attractive doctor walk towards her, Ethan rolled his eyes unimpressed. "Hi my name is Dr. Caleb Knight but you can call me Cal" Cal introduced himself stubbornly, Amber blushed.

"Caleb what are you doing?" Ethan asked confused "my job" he brushed passed Ethan "so Amber let's take a look at this leg" Cal hovered over her leg, inspecting. "Ah looks like you were lucky here, missed the artery by a few centimetres!" Amber smiled "yeah lucky me" she replied sarcastically "well as lucky as you can get being in a smashed up bus" Cal replied with a laugh, Amber laughed too.

Ethan sat watching his older brother, still unimpressed. Caleb looked at his brother with a sigh "Dr. Hardy do you not have somewhere to go? I'm sure cubicles could use you" he urged. "No I'm fine here" Ethan snapped. "Listen, you have a job to do, you know the drill, finish with one casualty move on to the next" Ethan ignored his brother looking passed him, as if he wasn't there keeping his eyes on Amber who kept quiet. "Does Connie know you've spent the majority of your shift in here?" Cal stepped in Ethan's line of view he had of Amber, Ethan turned his head away. ""I want things to go back to the way they were before the accident", your words. Not mine." Caleb stated. Ethan looked at his brother in shock and disrespect at the fact he'd bring up such a topic that he had, in fact, succeeded in forgetting about for the day for the first time since it happened. It all suddenly hit him again, the colour ran from his face. He opened his mouth to speak but he couldn't find any words, he slowly rose to his feet and turned, leaving the room.

"So..." Cal said awkwardly as spinning on his heels to face Amber "were you the bride?" "Bridesmaid" Amber corrected blushing again. "ah right bridesmaid, okay" Cal nodded "that's good" he smiled to himself as he began stitching up.

"Ethan was in an accident?" She asked sounding concerned. Cal raised his head slowly catching Amber's gaze "sorry I know it's none of my business but I just-" Cal cut her off raising his hands "no no, it's okay..I guess" he sat on the edge of her bed and began with a sigh "it was about a month ago..some doctors got chosen to do a speech to help with funding towards the hospital, so they set off, Ethan was driving. They were on the road for about 30 minutes before they got side swiped by a car that came from no where, there wasn't anything anyone could have done" Caleb stopped trying to control himself as he thought of his brother lying bloody before him "Ethan came out worst in the accident he..he almost died" He admitted now lost in his thoughts with tears filling up in his eyes, he was snapped out of his trail of thought when Amber placed her hand gently on his arm in attempt to comfort him. "Anyway" Cal spoke standing up and moving back away from Amber's bed. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

"We lost a paramedic that day, as he removed the last of our doctors from the car it exploded unexpectedly killing him instantly" Amber sat listening intensely to the doctor who was obviously haunted by the accident. "Ethan hasn't long returned to work, he's not the same" "he thinks it's his fault the paramedic died because he was the one driving" Amber stated filling in the blanks. "exactly" Cal looked towards the ground. "I don't like seeing him like this, it's worrying, he's barely said a word since he's been back. We were all worried because today is the first time he's been out with the paramedics since before the accident and it just so happened to be a car crash" He took a deep breath "we were all surprised when we saw how back-to-normal he got when he was around you though" Cal admitted "it was like you made him completely forget about the crash" Cal began to get lost in his thoughts once again, "I just... couldn't bare the thought of losing-" he snapped out of his thoughts suddenly "why am I telling you this I don't even know you?!" he snapped raising his voice and turned for the door, pulling off his gloves and throwing them into the bin as he passed "sometimes you just need a pair of ears to let it all out to" Amber spoke, stopping Cal in his tracks. He turned around and gave Amber a slight smile before walking out of the door.

That is exactly what Caleb needed, someone to talk to. He'd recently had to be the strong one, he had to be Ethan's safety net he hadn't realised just how much of a strain it was, until now.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter four of "Ethan's safety net", I've been excited to post this part for a while, it was tricky to write but hopefully it was worth it in the end! Again, thank you for the reviews, favourites and follows glad to see you're enjoying so far! I'd love to know what you think on this chapter Kayxxx :)**

"Are you okay?" Zoe asked as Ethan slowly walked out of Amber's room dragging his feet obviously troubled, he seemed distant. "yes I'm fine" he replied in a flat tone that everyone had gotten used to by now "why don't you have a rest? Go to the staff room and have a cup of coffee or something, you've had a busy start to the day, I don't want to see you out here for 30 minutes!" She ordered. Ethan just nodded and headed for the staff room. This is something he really didn't want. Keeping himself busy all day was his way of stopping himself from thinking.

He sat at the table in the staff room tapping his fingers anxiously as he watched the clock slowly tick by, "30 minutes!" he sighed to himself, "what am I supposed to do with 30 minutes?". He thought about going to see Amber - she was the only person he felt he could see at the moment - but then he realised Cal would probably be taking his time treating her, making sure she was well stitched and chatted up. He rolled his eyes and placed his head in his hands, he began doing what he'd tried to avoid all day long; thinking about the crash. "If only I'd seen the other car coming I could've stopped in time, or at least swerved out of the way. I could've avoided this whole thing. Jeff would still be here and everything would be fine. It's all my fault" Ethan suddenly felt his body being shaken gently, he opened his eyes and looked up to find Zoe hovering over him eyebrows raised, to both his and her surprise he'd fallen asleep. He looked at the clock that he thought he'd just a few minutes ago been counting down the seconds on to see that almost an hour had passed. "Oh Zoe I'm sorry I don't even know how I-" Zoe cut him off holding up her hands "don't worry about it Dr. Hardy" without saying another word Ethan stood up and headed for the door.

"This isn't like you" Zoe called as he reached the door. "When are we going to get the old Ethan back?" She spoke firmly. He froze keeping his hand on the door knob "You _can_ talk about it you know" Zoe called. Ethan didn't have to think for even a second, he knew what she was talking about. She walked over and placed her hand on the young doctor's back, she could feel how tense he was. "In confidence" she added looking into Ethan's eyes as he gave her a sideways glance sheepishly. He hesitated for a moment, he hadn't spoken about the accident to anyone, but not a day went by when he didn't think about it.

He let out a shaky sigh, and relaxed his tense muscles. He'd given in. He couldn't take it no longer, bottling up everything wasn't doing him any good. He knew that. He thought the longer he bottled things up, the easier it would get. He was wrong. he looked over his glasses at Zoe who have him a sympathetic smile.

"I go to sleep and it's there, I..I...wake up and it's there, I go to work and it's there. The feeling that none of this would've happened if it wasn't for me, it's constantly there. No one would've gotten hurt, Jeff wouldn't have died, Dixie...Dixie wouldn't have lost her best friend" he spat out stuttering at times as his words were rolling out too fast for him to say, he looked towards the ground his eyes were like tunnels. He took a deep breath before continuing slightly shaking his head "everything would be normal, everyone would be happy. Every time I close my eyes to go to sleep I see him, Jeff, talking to me when I woke in the car "Ethan, it's Jeff you've been in a car accident mate" he says, his voice is so clear I could swear he's still here." Tears began to fill up in Ethan's eyes as he continued to speak. "I'm sick of people giving me sympathetic looks and talking quietly behind my back thinking I can't hear, saying they're worried about me, that they feel sorry for me? Why should they? and Cal?! Since when has he ever cared about me..why is he all of a sudden bothered?! Everyday I wish It had been me, it should've been me who didn't make it out then, not him. It should have been me!"

The doctor crumbled, tears began to stream down his face "Oh, Ethan!" Zoe sighed pulling him in for a hug in attempt to comfort the broken man stood before her, she buried her face into his blonde hair as he continued to weep into her. She held him in front of her placing a hand on each shoulder looking him deep in the eyes, his of which were still streaming with tears.

She spoke to him softly and slowly, making sure not to say the wrong thing "What happened that day happened. There was nothing that could've been done to avoid any of it, Jeff died doing what he loved, he was happy. Ethan you are in no way to blame for this, I can promise you that." She spoke confidently.

Ethan began to conduct himself, wiping away his tears and taking deep breaths. He let out a sigh, for some reason he believed every word Zoe had just said, although people had said the exact same thing to him tens of times, this time he believed it.

"The reason people are acting like they care is because _they do _care about you Ethan. They're worried about you. Bottling things up never works. I'm just happy you've finally spat out what's been bothering you, and maybe now you can start moving on. Everything _is _back to normal and everyone _is _happy. The only thing that's stopping that is you."

Ethan slowly began to realise that that, in fact, was true. Everything was returning back to normal, everyone was happy, even Dixie did some smiling every now and again and she was the one who'd lost her husband. Of course Cal cared. If it would've been the other way around Ethan would be acting exactly the same as Cal is now, it's the natural thing to do.

"It's me" Ethan spoke in realisation. "what's you?" Zoe whispered.

"I'm the one who is stopping everyone from moving on, I'm the daily reminder. Every time they look at me they remember that day. Because I'm still stuck there, in the past thinking about the "what if's" and "if only's" feeling sorry for myself. Poor Dixie. Dixie sat in that ambulance today making sure I was okay to be at the scene of the crash when she is the one who wakes up every morning knowing she's lost her best friend, she had to face that crash too, I should've been concerned for her not the other way around. And Cal. All he was doing is being there for me and all I did was push him away." He stopped collecting his thoughts "Selfish." He concluded. "No no. Ethan you've always been the Independent one, you've always been the one who was there for everyone else. How were you supposed to recognise when someone is being there for you if you've never experienced it before? Everyone understands how you feel completely Ethan not one person out there thinks you're selfish, if anything you're seen to as is strong." There was a sudden physical change in Ethan, he seemed to get back his colour in his face, he didn't look as worn out.

It was like bottling up his worries had been like carrying a weight on his shoulders, every day getting heavier and heavier and harder to hold onto and now, suddenly, he's been able to but down that weight for the first time in a month and it, felt, great. All his worries and problems were all in his head. He looked up at Zoe with a smile "thank you" he spoke, his voice seeming back to his normal tone. "You're welcome" she replied happy to see someone had finally broken through to him.

"Go home Ethan, come in tomorrow and start on a fresh day who knows you might get some sleep for once" Zoe spoke in a jokey tone. "Although a good night's sleep does sound tempting, I'm fine" Ethan smiled at the fact that was the first time in what seemed like forever he'd said the words "I'm fine" and truly meant it. Zoe could see it in his face that he truly was fine, this was all her and the other colleagues had longed to see. She nodded and with that Ethan turned and headed out of the staff room with a bounce in his step, he picked up some patient's notes and headed for cubicles.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you so much for all the reviews on my last chapter, I'm happy you all liked it! I didn't really like writing for a miserable Ethan hahaha. How are we all coping with no casualty tonight? Back to normal next week though yay! :p **

**This is chapter five of "Ethan's safety net", I'd love to hear what you think, hope you enjoy! :) xx**

Chapter Five

It was coming to the end of Ethan's shift he was just finishing with his last patient. Margaret Fisher, 88 years old she'd fallen and took a bump to the head, nothing major but the paramedics thought it'd be best to get her checked over just to be on the safe side. She was a lovely woman, she remained Ethan a lot of his mother which brought a smile to his face.

"Do you have kids?" Margaret asked. "oh gosh no" Ethan replied amused at the thought. "I have, I've got two boys" she informed him "you remind me of my youngest son" she added "you remind me of my mother" Ethan smiled "she was an amazing woman, one of the best people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing". Margaret looked at the doctor who obviously thought highly of his mother.

"Do you have a wife or girlfriend?" Ethan shook his head smiling, Margaret took hold of Ethan's hand and looked him in the eyes "well when you find the right girl that makes you smile, I mean truly makes your heart smile, don't ever let her go, you deserve to be happy you're a lovely young man" Ethan smiled as he looked in the woman's eyes seeing nothing but wisdom. "that's good advice" Ethan stated trying to brush passed the topic. "Me and my husband have just celebrated our 65th wedding anniversary" Margaret announced. "Wow 65 years! That's amazing!" Ethan replied stunned. "Like I said,  
>once you find the one, never let them go" Ethan smiled, he wanted to sit and talk to Mrs. Fisher all night but the time had come to discharge her, he helped her off the bed and handed her her prescription for some pain killers he'd prescribed. "Thank you doctor" she spoke "you'll know when you find the one" she whispered in his ear before taking his hand and shaking it.<p>

Ethan stood in the staff room and began putting on his coat. After speaking to Zoe, he was surprised within himself how much it helped. He felt back to himself, although he'd slightly forgotten what it actually felt like it had been so long he was out of character for. It was like a completely fresh start, like he was beginning to find his feet again. He buttoned his coat up and began wrapping his scarf around his neck, as he done this he looked up out the window to find Amber struggling as she walked passed with her crutches.

"Here let me help you" Ethan called placing his hand on Amber's back steadying her. "Thanks" she smiled. "You're getting the hang of it!" He praised as they continued to walk. "Yeah" she laughed embarrassed. As they entered reception, Ethan's colleagues were stood around, this was the place they'd usually meet up to go to the pub after shift. Silence suddenly filled the room as all eyes turned toward the pair who slowly huddled passed.

All day talk had been going around the department of how "Ethan has found himself a girl" and he was finally "becoming himself again". All members of the department longed to witness the gossip first hand. They watched knowingly as Ethan held the girl steadying her, he hadn't even even noticed the room had fell silent nor the fact his colleagues were watching him eagerly, he just focused on Amber. "Aw they're just so cute!" Robyn announced, not realising how loud she actually was. Both Ethan and Amber looked up surprised, Ethan gave her "the look" this was a look that every other colleague member mirrored as they looked towards Robyn. "Sorry" she apologised looking down. Max and Rita laughed. Cal shook his head smiling, all turned back to watch the couple who had stopped whilst Amber got back her breath.

"Will you be okay from here?" Ethan asked, concerned "yes I should be, like you said I seem to be getting the hang of these things" she gestured toward he crutches. "Although, I do feel like I'm part robot" she added, they both laughed. Ethan rolled his eyes after hearing a chorus of "aw's" coming from Robyn and Rita behind them, he gave them a sideways glance before motioning Amber to walk forward, out of view of their newly found fans. "Well then" Ethan smiled awkwardly "yeah.." Amber replied with the same awkward smile on her face. "Hopefully I'll see you soon, I told you I'd get you better in time for your interview" Ethan smiled, he kept to his promise. "You really do keep your promises don't you?" She smiled. "Let's hope the fact I'm now half-robot and have my face covered 65% in cuts and bruises won't have any affect on me getting the job" she looked down at her leg "it shouldn't be a problem" Ethan smiled. "I'll put in a good word" Ethan winked causing Amber to blush. "Thank you for everything you've done for me today, you truly are an amazing doctor" she praised, Ethan looked toward the ground awkwardly. "Just doing my job" he looked up to meet Amber's gaze "well hopefully I'll become as good as a doctor you are one day if I get this job" she nudged his arm. "It would be a pleasure to work along side you" he stated. "Goodbye doctor hardy" Amber pulled Ethan in for a hug, "oh" he gasped surprised, hugs weren't really Ethan's thing but for Amber he didn't mind. "Goodbye Amber" he whispered as he held her.

They broke away Amber gave him a smile before turning and slowly making her way to the hospital door, still getting used to her new "robot parts" Ethan stood frozen for a moment, watching until she was out of sight. He sighed happily before turning to see all of his colleagues watching eagerly, Ethan thought about walking straight passed them and go back to his "silent treatment" act but this feeling he had inside him - the feeling Amber made him feel - made him unable to stop smiling. He'd never felt a feeling like this before and he sure as hell didn't want it to end.

"Is that Ethan Hardy..smiling?!" Max joked "ha, ha, ha" Ethan replied sarcastically as he reached reception. "Haven't seen that in a while" max continued "I've missed your cute little smile" Max mocked sarcastically pinching Ethan's cheeks causing everyone to laugh. Ethan didn't mind, his cheeks were already hurting from him smiling so much. "Pub?!" Max announced heading towards the door to which everyone replied with a cheer.

"If I remember correctly, first round's on you" Lofty pointed at Cal. "I think I might give it a miss tonight" Cal joked. "Ay you're not getting out of this one Dr. Knight" Max called back jokingly. ,Do you mind if I join you all?" Ethan asked awkwardly everyone stopped in their tracks looking at him surprised, "of course you can" Robyn smiled at Ethan. "and I want all to goss about you and that girl too" she added with a wink, Ethan smiled toward the ground blushing slightly.

Cal looked back over his shoulder at his younger brother, who, at the same time looked up to see him. Cal nodded toward the younger man as a way of asking if he was okay, to which Ethan replied to with a smile mouthing the words "thank you". Cal smiled, he'd gotten his little brother back.

They all headed out the door making their way to the pub "Woah woah wait. Ethan you can't come" Max announced holding up his hands, Cal looked toward Max defensively, Ethan stopped in confusion "unless you get in the first round" he smiled, he put his arm around Ethan "ah that shouldn't be a problem" Ethan laughed "grand" Max smiled ruffling Ethan's hair.

To be continued...


	6. Chapter 6

**Due to the late publishing of my last chapter I thought I'd put this chapter up early to make up for it. A lot of people have been saying they'd like to see more brotherly scenes between Ethan and Cal and so this one is for you! Hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think and if you have any tips/advice/improvements they will be much appreciated. This is chapter six of Ethan's safety net! Kayxxx :) **

Chapter Six

Cal and Max stumbled their way out of the pub followed by Ethan and Lofty who walked out more steadily. Max wrapped his arm around Cal as they walked falling slightly to the side laughing at absolutely nothing.

"I don't understand how they manage to get so drunk" Lofty laughed looking at the two drunken men pitifully try to walk. "I think their trick is, "for every one drink we have, they have triple"" Ethan joked. "Well it sure works!" Lofty replied with a chuckle.

"No no I'm a master, watch!" Max slurred as he staggered backwards. He attempted to stand up straight, as he done this he placed his finger on his nose and slowly started walking forwards, he took a pathetic four steps before stumbling over wrapping his arms around a lamppost just in time avoiding him from toppling over. Cal stood weaving slowly back and forth in attempt to stay upright and laughed as he watched Max terribly try and prove that he was not drunk. "Say the alphabet backwards!" Cal suggested laughing as if what he'd just said is the funniest thing in the world, Max also somehow got the none existing joke and laughed, still leaning on the lamppost. "Okay" Max started thinking before he spoke "A..oh wait." Max stopped himself realising he'd started at the wrong end of the alphabet. They both laughed hysterically. Cal fumbled backwards catching himself and leaned against a bench, still laughing. "Right I think it's time to get you home" Robyn announced as she walked out of the pub to see her step-brother hugging the lamppost as if it were a person. Her and Lofty pulled Max up keeping him steady and led him away from the pub "I love you mate!" He called over to Cal who replied with a laugh "I love that man" he slurred drunkenly talking to Robyn and Lofty "Yeah yeah yeah" Robyn replied.

Ethan walked over to his older brother who slumped on the bench still laughing, and sat down beside the drunken man. "Ethan! How's my little bro?" Cal slurred wrapping his arm around him "bro? Seriously Cal?" Ethan laughed "What?" Cal smiled.

They both sat in silence for a moment, both looking towards the ground still smiling, Cal looked up at his brother and gave him a nudge playfully. He looked back toward the ground and sighed, with that sigh his smile disappeared, he focused on a cigarette stump that was on the floor by his feet.

"I've missed you Eth" he began suddenly seeming sober, "You're back now right?" He asked,  
>There was a vulnerableness to his voice. "Yes Cal, I'm back" Ethan placed his hand on his brother's shoulder. Cal sighed with relief, his voice shaking as he done so. "Ethan you have no idea how hard it was seeing you suffer the way you did." He shook his head still focusing on the cigarette stump on the floor "when you came in from the accident, god Ethan I thought I was going to loose you" he placed his head in his hands.<p>

"As you sat in recovery I sat beside you and started thinking about when we were little, stupid little things that at the time meant nothing but looking back made me see how much they actually meant to me, remember that time when we went to the beach?" He turned his head to face his brother who smiled as he reminisced the memory his brother spoke about. "It was just me, you and mum, one day in the summer holidays and we just got up and decided to go to the beach and we ended up having like the best day ever?" Cal spoke with a grin. "We had fish and chips on the dock and then we played in the water, we got ice cream and just sat with mum laughing, she was so happy." Ethan stated, comforted by his memories. "We all sat making sand castles for hours as the sun went down" Cal continued. "Mine which of which you knocked over!" Ethan stated in a jokey tone "sorry about that" Cal smiled.

"Whilst I was in the recovery room with you I must've fallen asleep, I can still remember the dream I had like it was last night. It was us on the beach doing everything we did that day except mum wasn't there, I looked at the place where she sat that day and she wasn't there. I turned back to see you and you were gone too, everyone was gone. I sat alone on the beach in the dark. I didn't know what to do, or where to go I just sat there waiting for someone to come and tell me it's all going to be okay, and make it all better but no one came, it made me realise that that's what my life would be like with out you, you're always the one to pull me back up and make everything okay, you're the only person I have left...my safety net" he chocked as he spoke. "Caleb.." Ethan began. "And then when you got better, well, you didn't really get better. You distanced yourself from everyone, you wouldn't even look at me, all I wanted to do is pull you back up and tell you it's all going to be okay, like what you always do for me but, I couldn't." He continued cutting his little brother off "how do you do it?" He questioned. "how do I do what?" Ethan asked. "Keep it together so well, when ever you didn't listen to me it would annoy me so much and I'd end up turning on you..one month I just I had to be there for you and I couldn't even do that, you've done it my entire life, been my safety net, how?" He looked toward is brother stunned.

"It's not easy" Ethan smiled. "Evidentially" Cal mirrored his younger brother's smile. "But Cal you were there for me, every single day." He reassured the older man "Caleb if you wasn't there for you I wouldn't be here right now, it would be a month since I'd died" Ethan spoke slowly in realisation, "like, like it is for Jeff.." He whispered as his voice cracked. He closed his eyes tightly trying to hold back his tears which began to fill up in his eyes. He took a deep breath in, as he released this breath you could hear the shakiness in his voice.

"Eth.." His brother began, with the voice of his brother breaking the silence, Ethan gave in. He allowed the tears to fall from his eyes as his brother took him into his arms in attempt to comfort him, "Ethan you can't expect to get over this over night, it's going to take time" he spoke slowly as he held his weeping brother, it pained him to see him like this. "You can't keep acting like you're okay." tears began to fall down his cheeks at this time, he didn't like seeing his brother so hurt. As a doctor it is his instinct to help make people who are hurt, better. But this time is brother was the one who was hurt and there was nothing he could do to help, "god it looks like we both need a safety net!" He joked, as he pulled in his brother more tightly, he buried his face into Ethan's blonde hair as he continued to let the tears fall.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks for all of the comments on my last chapter, so happy to see you all liked it! Can't beat a bit of brotherly love :p Here's chapter seven of "Ethan's safety net" I decided to put two chapters together here so I apologise for the length of it. I hope you enjoy anyway, please let me know what you think, I would be much appreciated, thanks Kayxxx :)**

Chapter seven

*two weeks later*

Things had gotten back to normal for both brothers. Cal had gotten back to his usual self, taking any opportunity to tease his little brother, to go out on a boozer and to flirt with any girl at any given time. Ethan had thrown himself back into work, which was what he loved doing most, so he was happy. After Cal and Ethan opening up to each other, not another word was spoken. Ethan wondered whether or not his brother could recall the conversation as he was so drunk, or maybe he just didn't want to bring it up again, as both brothers just wanted to move on. He didn't know the answer, but, what he did know was that a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts and that was good enough for Ethan.

All stood around the nurse's station awaiting Zoe's "big announcement". Ethan stood reading intently the notes he had on a patient, every now and again taking sips out of the cup of coffee that Honey had made him. "It's nice to see you back to normal" Honey spoke with a smile, Ethan didn't even notice she was still standing next to him he was so intrigued by what he was reading. Honey looked around embarrassed, hoping no one saw her being completely blanked by the man whom she craved attention. "We should go out for a drink sometime, after work one day" she offered "Ethan?" She called causing him to snap out of his thoughts. "hm yeah sounds good" he replied still not taking his eyes off his notes, fully unaware at the fact he'd just agreed to a date with Honey.

"Is everyone here?" Zoe called as she walked toward the awaiting crowd. "Right okay, I'd like to introduce you to our newest team member Dr. Green" she monitored toward the young doctor standing beside her. All men and women for that matter watched her, open mouthed, taken completely by the beauty of the woman standing before them. This woman had blonde curly hair pulled neatly back into a bun on top of her head, the bluest of eyes, plump red lips, all of which worked perfectly in contrast with her pale skin. Her body, although in blue scrubs, showed her perfect hourglass figure. "Wow" Max called out clearly impressed. Cal looked her up and down biting his lip as she tucked a piece of hair behind he ear before looking up to meet his gaze. Lofty just watched in stunned silence. "Aw she looks nice" Honey spoke to Ethan who was, yet again, too intrigued in his work to even notice her speak. "Oh please, call me Amber" Dr. Green spoke.

As she spoke Ethan suddenly snapped out of his work as the mention of her name triggered off emotions that he had not long ago felt, and craved so badly to feel again. Memories flashed through his brain of a girl he once treated, a girl who at one time made him feel like she was the only one he could talk to, a girl whose just her presence and presence alone made Ethan realise that he had to move on, he couldn't be stuck dwelling on the past forever, this girl was special to him, Could this be that girl? He slowly raised his head to find _his_ Amber standing before him. He put down his cup and notes and made his way towards her "Amber?" He called as he approached her "Ethan!" She smiled. "wow you look amazing" he spat out without much thought, she looked down at her scrubs "not exactly runway worthy though right?" She joked, Ethan smiled, he'd completely forgotten how much they were alike sense of humour wise, he remembered the last time she spoke to him she was joking about her "robot parts" aka "crutches", it was jokes like this that not many people would find funny but, they did. "Those cuts and bruises cleared up well then I see" he spoke inspecting her face "yeah, there are still a few but they're quite faded now" she pointed to the side of her face where you could slightly make out some faint bruises. "it's good to see you again" he continued, it truly was good to see her again. "yeah your good word must've helped" she smiled.

All colleagues stood watching Ethan so easily make conversation with the beautiful girl, in shock, Ethan would usually be the last person on earth to start a conversation with a girl as his stutter would usually decide to make an appearance, just to embarrass him further. Max and Lofty looked toward Cal, who still had his eyes fully focused on Dr. Green. "Here let me introduce you to everyone" Ethan spoke leading her over to where Lofty, Max and Cal were stood.

"I..I'm...Lofty" Lofty stuttered reaching out his hand for her to shake "Hi nice to meet you Lofty" she replied. Ethan smiled at the fact Lofty was now the one stuttering. She then moved on to Max. "Hi Amber Green, I'm red" Max stated taking hold of her hand "I'm sorry..?" Amber questioned looking at him confused, which the rest of his colleagues mirrored "red..Amber..green..." Max urged, "traffic lights!" He spoke with a chuckle "oh right yeah of course" Amber replied laughing awkwardly at Max's terrible idea of a joke. "I'm Max" he smiled "nice to meet you Max, so I'm guessing you're the joker of the pack then?" He smiled before she turned her attention toward Cal, who hadn't taken his eyes off her from the second she walked in.

"It's, Caleb isn't it?" She asked holding her hand out for him to shake "Cal.." he corrected her, confused as to how she knew is name. "Couldn't forget you easily" she blushed. "I'm sorry have we met before?" Cal asked still unaware of who she was. Max rolled his eyes thinking she was just another name on the list of girls who Cal had managed to sleep with, being the "womaniser" that he thinks he is.

"Yes, you treated me a couple of weeks ago, I was in the wedding car crash? The bridesmaid not the bride?" Amber smiled as she jogged Cal's memory "that was you?!" Cal announced shocked "yes..I know I had some cuts and bruises on my face but did that really make me this unrecognisable?" She laughed looking toward Ethan. "At least you remembered me Ethan, you must've seen through the blood and cuts" she smiled. "Oh you're that girl who Ethan treated at the crash scene?" Lofty questioned his memory too being jogged, Amber nodded in agreement "wait..no way, you're Ethan's girl?!" Max yelled drawing everyone's attention "um okay.." Zoe spoke as Amber turned to meet her gaze.

"Right Dr. Hardy, seen as though you and Dr. Green seem to know each other well, I'm going to put you in charge of showing her the ropes around here, is that okay?" "That's great" Ethan assured her, Lofty and Cal looked towards each other gutted as to why they weren't chosen "Robyn you're with them today" she gestured to Ethan and Amber "okay" she smiled walking towards them and introducing herself to Amber.

"Zoe!" Cal and Lofty chased after the clinical lead. "Are you sure making Ethan in charge of the new girl is such a good idea?" Cal spoke looking over at Amber and Ethan who were laughing together. "He's still not quite back to normal after the, you know...are you sure he can handle this?" Using anything as an excuse for an opportunity to get to know Dr. Green better. "I think putting Ethan with Amber is the best choice as he was the only one who didn't have his mouth open catching flies as she walked in" she spoke pushing Cal's mouth closed as he watched Amber walk by. "Now get to work" she ordered as she turned to her office.

"What's with all them?" Amber motioned towards the watching men. "Well, they're all young doctors, they probably spent most of their adolescent years studying for exams that they still have their teenage hormones left built up inside them, a pretty girl like you walks in, I'd take cover if I were you!" Robyn joked, Amber laughed along "ah right, thanks for the advice" she continued Robyn's jokey tone "the three musketeers" she stated causing Robyn to chuckle as they passed them.

"Right okay, when the doors open walk over and listen to what the paramedic has to say, next one in is yours" Ethan stated to Amber gesturing to the door "Okay" she sighed nervously. "Hi new girl would you like a coffee?" Honey walked over to Amber "no no wait..I can tell your not a coffee girl am I right?" Honey closed her eyes taking in Amber's ora "how did you know that?" Amber asked shocked "I'm good at reading people..you're not really a tea girl either correct?" Honey continued "wow you're good" Amber replied stunned "hot chocolate for you then" Honey smiled. "That would be perfect" Amber grinned.  
>"I'm Honey" She spoke putting out her hand for Amber to take hold of, "Amber" she smiled shaking Honey's hand. "Your hair is a gorgeous colour, is that natural?" Honey spoke. "Thank you and yes" Amber replied embarrassed "gosh am I jealous?!" Honey continued. "Aw don't be silly your hair is lovely!" Amber complemented her. "I can tell me and you are going to get on like a house on fire" honey smiled. "One hot chocolate coming up" she called as she turned heading for her shop.<p>

"Girl talk" Ethan shook his head with a smile, Amber laughed.

"I'd love to see you drunk" Max stated out of the blue as he leaned on the reception counter, smiling towards Amber "you really get to know a girl when she's drunk" he added with a wink. "Oh..well it looks like you'll never really get to know me then, I don't really do "drinking"" Amber replied smugly. Ethan's face lit up "me neither!..I'll have the odd one to fit in but I won't really ever get drunk" he explained. "yeah I'm the same!" Amber replied, Ethan and Amber smiled at each other for a moment. "Wow you two are perfect for each other" Max spoke looking at the pair making everyone feel awkward, "don't you think Cal?" He asked. He hoped Cal would do the usual and join in with the teasing. He had kept his eyes on Amber listening intently to her, smiling as she spoke although she wasn't speaking to him, "ay Cal?" Max called again. Cal looked at Amber and then to Ethan before storming off "what was that about?" Noel asked, confused. Ethan looked over his shoulder watching his agitated brother storm away thinking what Noel just spoke. "Well we'll deffo have to get you both drunk one day then" Max continued and raised his eyebrows waiting for an agreement "we'll see" Ethan smiled trying to avoid the topic.

The doors burst open "right this is Jessica" Dixie called. "this one's yours go!" Ethan pushed gently on Amber's back urging her to walk. "Hi Jessica I'm Amber I'm going to be the doctor treating you today-" she spoke as she reached the trolley which rushed passed her before she even got a chance to finish, she looked toward Ethan unaware of what to do, Ethan laughed motioning her to chase after the trolley "Come on kid, catch up!" Dixie shouted back to Amber who was now chasing after the trolley "Jessica was found on a park bench this afternoon, she has taken a blow to the head.." Dixie's voice faded into the distance as they rushed into the room.

Ethan shook his head with a slight smile as he looked back down to read his notes, Rita smiled at him knowingly. "What?" Ethan questioned still smiling. "You like her don't you?" Ethan laughed trying to hide the fact he was blushing, "now wouldn't that be completely unprofessional?" He spoke with a hint of sarcasm, trying to brush passed an answer. "Dr. Hardy you're needed in cubicles" Charlie placed his hand on Ethan's back "saved by the bell" Ethan smiled as he headed to cubicles Rita watched him with a smile. "It's nice to see him smiling again" Rita spoke gesturing to Ethan, Charlie nodded in agreement "I think Amber I good for him" She added "she seems to make him forget about things for a while"


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks for your comments and reviews everyone! I always love reading what you have to say. This is chapter 8 of "Ethan's safety net" hope you enjoy. Feel free to pm me whenever, like I said I love hearing what you think on my story and where you think it will lead! Kayxxx :) **

"Well, there's defiantly a bleed, and it's defiantly in her head, temporal lobes maybe?" Dr. Hardy spoke as he examined the scan that Zoe held in front of him "possible  
>Cerebral Haemorrhage?" The young doctor spoke putting forward his theory "Possibly, but, that wouldn't really explain the sudden vomiting.." Zoe explained as they continued to examine.<p>

"Dr. Green, what do you make of this?" Zoe said calling Amber over, "Well.." Amber looked at the scan for a few moments "it's a temporal bleed which could suggest a cerebral haemorrhage.. but, that wouldn't explain the sudden vomiting so.." The doctor continued instantly proving Ethan's theory wrong and taking the scan out of Zoe's hand. "Jessica, do you happen to know if you lost consciousness after the blow to your head occurred?" Amber questioned her patient who had a bowl placed in front of her to vomit into. "Where am I?!" Jessica shouted out before vomiting yet again into the bowl "you're at Holby City hospital you're in safe hands don't worry" Amber reassured her.

She turned to face Dr. Hardy and Zoe, scan in hand and begun, "well she's obviously become suddenly confused she was up and talking a few moments ago, she's also developed a headache, nausea, vomiting, all out of the blue!" She looked up from the scan she held in her hands "I would say she's having a lucid interval of an epidural haematoma" Amber stated confidentially. "Talk and die syndrome" Ethan concluded. "oh of course!" Zoe spoke in realisation as she walked over to Jessica "she's good this one!" Zoe said pointing to Amber, "she defiantly is, I wouldn't have spotted it myself" Ethan continued Zoe's praising, "good job!" Zoe smiled. Ethan looked at Amber amazed, she smiled toward the ground trying to hide the fact she was blushing as Ethan watched her intrigued.

"What do you make of the new girl then?" Max spoke leaning over the counter "she's defiantly a looker!" Lofty replied "oh indeed" Max grinned. "Cal?" he continued. "Sorry what?" Cal asked completely unaware of the fact he was being involved in a conversation as he had been watching Amber and Ethan work through the window of their room, "are you alright, you seem a bit off today?" Lofty questioned seeming concerned. "Yeah yeah I'm fine I was just in a world of my own then" Cal smiled looking down at some notes he held in his hand. "So what do you think?" Max urged yet again. "Of what?" Cal asked still confused. "Amber!" He spat out. "Oh yeah she seems nice" Cal replied seeming to have no interest.

"Nice" Max echoed Cal's words, "nice!" He repeated once more in disbelief "no mate, she ain't "nice" she's a goddess!" Max explained. "sure yeah she's pretty" Cal agreed. "So, you're telling me the womaniser Caleb Knight is not going to make a move on what could possibly be the most beautiful girl he's ever going to come across?!" Max questioned stunned. "Do you think I try it on with any girl?" Cal laughed shaking his head. "No, she's not "any girl"" Max protested placing his hand on Caleb's forehead "what are you doing?" Cal asked confused. "Checking your temperature, you must be sick mate this isn't like you!" Cal laughed stepping back away from Max "just leave it okay", "no no, that's it! I'm calling a boy's night out! Me, you and Lofty tonight we need to get back your mojo!" Max announced looking towards Caleb.

-

"You obviously like her" Rita stated "and you'd make a really cute couple" Robyn urged "Go on, ask her out, you know you want to!" Robyn smiled. "No no, I don't do "asking girls out", surely that's more my brother's type of thing" Ethan protested as he bent over to get his chocolate bar out of the vending machine. "Well then take a leaf out of his book for once!" Rita continued, Ethan ignored her as he stood back up opening his snack "come on, she likes you, you can tell" Robyn said nudging his shoulder "do you think?" He looked up to meet Robyn and Rita's excited gaze, blushing slightly. "yeah!" They spoke simultaneously.

"Here she is now! go on what do you have to loose?" Robyn urged, Ethan hesitated as he looked over his shoulder at Amber who was talking to Cal, "I don't know.." he spoke trying to talk himself out of it. "well if you like her then you better work fast as you're brother's probably already two steps a head of you" Rita gestured over to Cal and Amber who were laughing together, you could tell by the look on his face that Cal was flirting with her. "Just do it..Amber!" Robyn called causing Amber and Cal to look over. "what are you doing?" Ethan panicked as Amber made her way over to them "just go for it" Robyn smiled rubbing Ethan's shoulder, he took a deep breath and smiled awkwardly as Amber reached them.

"You called?" She spoke to Robyn "Ethan has something he wants to say" she explained, Ethan gave her a sideways glance before saying "it's really..nothing it can wait" he stuttered "are you sure?" She smiled, he hesitated looking back at Rita and Robyn who gave him a nod. "Um.." Ethan pulled Amber to the side so he was out of the way of Rita and Robyn aka his biggest fans.

"What's up?" Amber laughed unaware of what he was going to say "I was just.." Ethan stopped for a moment, figuring out what he was going to say before he said it, making sure not to stutter. "...wondering do you fancy going out for dinner after work? To celebrate you doing so well on your first day? I know this really nice restaurant, one of my favourites it's not far, though you'll probably be tired after your first day so I completely understand if you're not up to it I.." Ethan looked at Amber who stood smiling at him uncontrollably "I'm rambling" he looked at the ground embarrassed "of course I'll go for dinner with you Ethan" Amber smiled, Ethan looked up with a grin "really?..great! I'll meet you at reception at the end of shift" he smiled "see you then" she gave him a smile back before turning and heading back to the room where Zoe was waiting for her. Ethan let out a sigh of relief before turning back to see Rita and Robyn who were waiting eagerly, they both gave him a thumbs up and he smiled as he turned for cubicles walking away from the chorus of "aw's" coming from Rita and Robyn.


	9. Chapter 9

**Here is chapter nine of "Ethan's safety net" I hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you think, I always love reading your comments and reviews! Kayxxx :) **

"I heard you done well today" Cal smiled at Amber, who were both stood at reception. "Yeah I'm starting to get the hang of things around here" she replied with a grin. "How about you come out for a drink to celebrate your first day going well?" He urged. "well actually I've already-" she was cut off suddenly by Ethan "Amber, are you ready?" He called from behind her, "yeah, two seconds" she smiled at him before turning back to Cal. All colleagues looked at them, open mouthed "..got, plans" she finished her sentence gesturing over her shoulder toward Ethan. "Yeah I can see that" Cal spoke keeping his focus completely on his younger brother who looked at him knowingly. "Maybe another day" she smiled "yeah" Cal agreed.

"Did Caleb Knight aka "the womaniser" just get turned down for a date by the beautiful woman because his geeky younger brother had beat him to it?!" Max announced surprised. "Ha,ha,ha" Cal replied sarcastically turning back to face him,"I'll get her don't worry" Cal spoke confidentially as he watched Amber walk her way over to Ethan.

After ordering what they wanted at the restaurant Ethan and Amber sat talking about many different things, Ethan wanted Amber to do most of the talking and so he made sure this happened. "Have you got any brothers or sisters?" Ethan asked. "Yeah, I've got an older sister, she's everyone's favourite literally everything she does is so perfect, it can be extremely annoying at times" she admitted. "Oh I know the feeling" Ethan smiled. "She's my dad's favourite nothing she ever done could be seen as wrong in his eyes, the only person who sees through her is my mum, she's always supported me I'm closest to her. Unfortunately she's in St. James' at the moment" she hesitated as she spoke. "The hospital?" Ethan asked concerned. "Yeah, she's been poorly all her life but I think her time is coming, I'm just waiting for a call to say come and say my goodbyes" she admitted, he could see how much it hurt her to say those words. It brought back memories of when he went through the same thing with his mother. He understood the pain she felt "oh Amber I'm so sorry" he looked at her sympathetically. Amber forced out a smile as she looked up to meet Ethan's gaze.

They continued to talk and get to know each other, as they ate. They pretty much covered everything. As they came to the end of the meal Ethan knew an incredible amount about Amber: her favourite movie, tv shows, food, favourite colour, the type of music she listens to, and Amber too knew the same about Ethan. They discovered they shared many similarities, a lot of things in common. As they walked out of the restaurant they both turned to face each other "I had fun tonight" Amber smiled. "Me too" Ethan agreed, he looked toward the ground shyly. "You know, the night is still young" he pulled up his sleeve and looked at his watch "how about we come back to my house, we could watch that movie" he suggested sheepishly, they had both discovered they shared the same favourite movie. Amber smiled in agreement "that sounds amazing".

Ethan pressed the close button on his DVD player, he stood up and turned to face Amber who was sitting on Ethan's couch covered by a blanket that he'd given her, "right" he clapped his hands together before walking into the kitchen. He opened up the cupboards and began searching "chocolate or popcorn?" He called to the living room with his head buried into a cupboard. "Ah that's such a hard decision, you decide!" Amber called back. Ethan came waltzing back in to the living room holding a bowl, "chocolate popcorn" he spoke with his mouth full as he sat down next to Amber. He gestured the bowl full of chocolate popcorn towards her as the movie began to play, she took a hand full as she laughed.

Ethan had told Amber she could stay the night in his bed, and he would sleep on the couch, she protested saying she would stay on the couch but of course Ethan persuaded her being the gentleman he is. They barely watched any of the movie, they wound up talking all night, laughing and joking, getting to know each other even more. They were surrounded by pieces of chocolate popcorn that slowly had begun to melt, these were the remains of the bad attempts of a game they played which consisted of them throwing and catching the popcorn in their mouths. As their favourite part came up in their favourite movie Amber tapped Ethan in excitement as she watched the screen eagerly. When Ethan didn't flinch she looked over the blanket to find he'd fallen asleep. Although he was asleep he still had a smile etched on his face, this smile had been constant throughout the entire night. Amber looked at the clock to see it was nearly 2am. She stood up and switched off the tv before walking back over to where Ethan was sleeping, she gently placed the blanket over him and turned to go upstairs.

She walked into Ethan's bedroom and as taken completely by how neat everything was. The saying "there's a place for everything, and everything in its place" came to mind. There was a book shelf in the corner of the room of which held what could easily be over a hundred books, the bed was made perfectly without a single crease, at the end of the bed were a pair of pyjamas folded nearly. Amber almost felt bad for getting in the bed in fear she'd mess it up. As she laid her head on the pillow she felt something hard. Putting her hand under the pillow to search for what it was she came across a book. When she opened the book she found that it wasn't just any book, it was book Ethan had written in. A diary, a dream journal? She wondered as she flicked through the pages. She hesitated for a moment thinking whether or not she should read as it was obviously private but the mention of her name grabbed her attention.

"Today I treated a girl named Amber, I know it sounds completely crazy but she seemed to take my mind off things for a while and..dare I say it, made me forget about the crash.." The page continued but she flicked back a few pages and began to read, "it's 4:30am and I find myself awake yet again, every time I close my eyes I see Jeff..." She continued to flick through the pages as words popped out at her "haunting", "5am, 4am, 6am" "still no sleep" "nightmares" "If only I'd stopped in time" "it's all my fault" "did Cal really mean what he'd said?" She stopped at the first page and began to read.

"It's good to finally be out of hospital, I was beginning to go stir-crazy looking at the same four walls day in day out, my chest still hurts there is still some bruising but every day the pain eases which gives me something to look forward to. Although the pain in my chest may ease, the pain in Dixie's, Jamie's and Jeff's children's chest may be more permanent...".

Amber sat lost for words as she stirred at the page in front of her. She had no idea just how much Ethan was affected by the accident, she remembered Cal had mentioned Ethan didn't cope well after the crash when he was stitching her up but she didn't think even Cal understood the extent it had on him. To her he seemed fine but maybe it was because when he was around her, he _was _fine. She came to the conclusion that she was going to be there for Ethan no matter what as, by the looks of things, she played a part in him forgetting about the crash and forgetting means moving on and this is what Ethan craved most. Amber picked up a pen and wrote something on a fresh page before placing the book back under her pillow. She switched off the lamp beside her and drifted off to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Only a short chapter tonight, hope you enjoy :) Kayxxx**

The hot water slowly trickled it's way down her skin, as she thought about last night. The conversations she had with Ethan and how much fun they had, she then began to think about the book she found in his bed. She couldn't help but be concerned for him, he's obviously been through a lot and was finding it hard to move on.  
>She was suddenly snapped out of her thoughts, "Ethan?" There was a knock at the door which startled Amber. "You've been in there for like half an hour, hurry up I'm bursting!" A familiar voice called, Amber stepped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around her body. She opened the door to find Caleb stood before her. "Cal?" she looked at him in confusion, this was a look that he mirrored "Amber?" He looked at her stunned, his eyes made their way up and down her body, taking in the sight before him, he looked at her with an impressed look on his face. "you stayed the night?" He continued still stunned. "Yes, but not in that way!" She reassured him, "it's a long story" she smiled. "Where's Ethan?" He asked looking back over his shoulder towards Ethan's room. "He slept on the couch, I tried to persuade him to let me sleep there but he wouldn't allow it, did you not see him when you came in last night?" She asked confused. "To be honest I can't even remember getting home last night" Cal admitted causing Amber to laugh "he said I could get a shower in the morning, he gave me a towel I didn't just randomly make myself at home" she laughed. Cal nodded with a smile, "oh sorry didn't you say you were bursting?" She continued laughing as she stepped out of the way, "thanks" he spoke, relieved as he brushed passed her.<p>

Once Amber was dressed she walked out of Ethan's room to find also Cal getting dressed in what must've have been his room. His door was wide open, it was impossible to miss the mess, it looked as though every piece of clothing he owned was thrown on the floor, the complete opposite to Ethan's room. "where should I put this?" Amber called from outside his room, holding her towel. "I'll take that" he smiled, as he pulled his top over his torso. "I didn't know you were Ethan's room mate" she stated. Cal looked at her knowingly "a whole night with Ethan and he didn't bring me up once, sounds about right" he laughed sarcastically shaking his head, Amber looked at him in confusion. "I'm a bit more than his roommate Amber, I'm his brother" he informed her as he walked down the stairs.

Cal walked into the living room where he found his younger brother fast asleep on the couch, propped up by some pillows beneath his head. He was still dressed in the clothes he was wearing last night which now had melted chocolate on them due to sleeping on the chocolate popcorn covered couch. Cal shook his head and threw Amber's towel at Ethan's face which caused him to wake up startled he sat up suddenly unaware of what just happened, and found his elder stood before him "get ready you're going to be late" he spoke firmly, turning and walking into the kitchen.

Ethan and Amber laughed together as they walked through the hospital entrance, followed by Cal who seemed less amused. "Did they go home together last night?" Lofty asked as he watched the pair walk into the staff room, Amber was wearing the same clothes she left in the night before. "Wait, Ethan scored?!" Max yelled stunned "with Amber?!" He continued. "Sh, it's not like that" Cal reassured them, silencing Max. "what do you mean?" max continued. "listen I've got a job to do, if you want answers ask them yourself" Cal brushed passed leaving them speechless.

It was a busy day at work, Amber was left mainly on her own seen as though she'd gotten the hang of things so well yesterday. Ethan stayed in cubicles for the majority of the day which didn't bother him as long he was at work, he was happy. Cal stayed out of the way of everyone, Max and Lofty especially. He just got on with his work. Amber had bonded a lot with the rest of her colleagues today, Robyn, Rita, Lofty and even Max. They all planned to go to the pub after work so they waited at reception after shift. They all laughed together, sharing a joke as Amber looked down to switch her phone on.

"Is tonight the night I get you drunk then?" Max called over to Amber "yeah, I don't think so" she replied with a laugh. "Virgin piña colada's all night then?...without the virgin" he mumbled under his breath "I heard that!" Robyn laughed. "I think everyone did! Remind me not to allow Max to by me a drink tonight" she joked as she looked down as her phone to find she had three missed calls. She walked away from the laughing crowd and placed the phone up to her ear. Ethan kept his focus on her as the rest of his colleagues continued to talk amongst themselves. Amber raised her hand up to her mouth and slowly nodded, he could tell by the expression on her face it was not good news.

She turned and slowly walked back to reception, picking up her bag. "Amber?" Robyn called, "..sorry, I um.." All watched her hopelessly try and find some words, her smile had disappeared and her eyes were distant it was obvious something was troubling her. "I'm going to have to give it a miss tonight" she spat out "what's happened?" Rita asked concerned, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. For some reason Ethan already knew the words that were going to exit Amber's mouth next, "It's..my mum" she looked up to meet Ethan's gaze, her eyes were filled with tears. "I have to go to St. James', I'm sorry" she grabbed her bag and turned for the exit. "Amber" Ethan called chasing after her, "how are you getting there?" He asked her "um, I'll make the next train" she spoke, her voice was horse. "You can't get the train!" Ethan protested as he looked at the girl stare hopelessly toward the ground, unknowing of the fate which lay before her. "I'll drive you" he gave her a sympathetic smile. "No I'm fine" she looked up to meet his gaze "no you're not, I'm driving you come on" he took her by the hand and led her out of the hospital.


	11. Chapter 11

**Many people have asked me to publish two chapters tonight and so I could only meet your wishes ;p I'm happy to see so many people are enjoying my story and for those who are wondering where it is going it should all start to come together soon, don't worry. Thank you for all the reviews I love hearing what you think! Unfortunately, I probably won't be publishing the next chapter until Saturday due to the fact I'll be busy with family matters on Friday however if I do get time I will get one up for you all! :) This is chapter eleven of "Ethan's safety net" I hope you enjoy, Kayxxx :) **

Amber hurried through the hospital halls, followed by Ethan who wasn't far behind. As she turned onto the ward her mother was on she was greeted by a man. "Oh look who finally decided to show her face" the man shouted as the pair reached him. "HI dad" Amber spoke in a flat tone as she took a seat opposite him. "Sorry I was at work, I got here as soon as I could" she informed him. "Work?" The woman sat beside the man asked. "Yeah, I got that doctors job in Holby Ed" Amber forced out a smile. "oh wow congrats!" The girl replied clearly impressed, "did you hear that dad?" The girl continued. Their dad ignored the girl completely, as if she hadn't spoken. "This is Ethan" she introduced, "he works at the hospital" she gestured toward him. "Hi, it's a pleasure to-" Ethan held out his hand for the man to shake but dropped it soon after as he didn't flinch. Ethan stopped what he was saying and sat down beside him.

He recalled Amber telling him about her family last night, he concluded that the violent father that would rather poke needles in his eyes than praise Amber and the highly looked-up-to sister were the ones sat before him. "Well, Ava, tell Amber your good news!" Their father urged. "Um..I got promoted" Ava spoke, seeming embarrassed. "Aw that's great, I'm so happy for you" Amber replied. "She's a deputy manager now" her dad smiled toward Ava, "there are millions of those fast food restaurants all around the world and I get to say that my daughter is the deputy manager of the one in Holby" he looked towards her with pride in his eyes.

Ethan knew exactly what this man was getting at, he could sense it a mile off "Amber saved someone's life today" Ethan announced "she's is a fantastic doctor, Mr. Green" he continued with a smile. Her dad scoffed sarcastically towards the ground. Ethan looked at him confused as to why he could be proud of someone being promoted to deputy head of a fast food restaurant but not be proud of someone saving a life. Amber shook her head at Ethan in a way of telling him not to waste his time. "Sir.." Ethan began yet again, not allowing this to slip. "If she's such a good doctor then why is her mother lying in that room on her death bed" the man shouted, violently pointing into the room they sat outside of. "Dad there's nothing I could do about mum's condition!" Amber protested her father stood up, "no, if you're such a good doctor your mum wouldn't be in that room dying!" He spoke yet again, stepping towards her. Ethan rose to his feet stepping in between the two in attempt to protect Amber. "Sir, as a doctor myself I have to say there are something's that can not be stopped in life and death, unfortunately is one of them" he stated trying to calm the violent man. "Oh listen to mr. Posh notts talk!" He mocked Ethan, "speaking from experience it's horrible, loosing your mother it truly is, and as I doctor all you want to do is help but you can't help death sir, it's inevitable." He continued to speak gently, trying to avoid any conflict. "well, then sir" Amber's dad continued to mock, digging his finger into Ethan's chest "Mr. Doctor.." He pushed Ethan. "Dad stop!" Amber called. "You think you know it all don't you" he pushed him yet again but this time harder, causing Ethan to fall back against the wall. "Dad!" Amber yelled once again grabbing the arms of her father in attempt to get him away from Ethan. As the man continued to shout in Ethan's face he felt anger build up inside him, he closed his eyes in attempt to keep his anger under control, the only thing that was stopping him from letting his anger go was out of respect for Amber as this man, unfortunately, was her father.

"You let your mother down too I see, your mother died? And you call yourself a doctor" he scoffed in Ethan's face. Ethan's anger became harder and harder for him to control, he felt his fists clench at his sides. He launched a punch at the man's face but just as he was about to make contact the man got pulled away from Ethan. Ethan looked up to find Cal had Amber's dad pressed against the wall "I think it's best you leave" he spoke firmly. "Who are you? Security?" Her dad laughed in the face of the angered man towering over him. "no, I'm his brother" he spoke gesturing over his shoulder to Ethan, "I think it's best you leave" Cal repeated releasing his hold on the older man, the colour drained from the man's face as he looked Cal, he slowly nodded. A nurse led her dad and Ava to the relatives room as Cal turned to face Ethan.

"What was that about?" Cal asked concerned. "what are you doing here?" Ethan replied answering a question with a question. "I couldn't be bothered going out tonight, I still feel drunk from last night" he smiled as they all took their seats once again. "You don't mind me coming here right?" He looked towards Amber who slowly shook her head, still caught up in what just happened. "Ethan I'm so sorry about that" she managed to speak "Don't worry, we all have family problems right?" He smiled, giving Cal a sideways glance. Amber kept her eyes to the ground "come here" he whispered sympathetically as he pulled here in for a hug.

Cal got talking to a nurse who was working on the ward and went to get a coffee with her in the hospital cafe. Amber and Ethan were still sat outside her mum's room, Amber had her head placed on Ethan's shoulder and Ethan rested his head on hers, both had fallen asleep. As Cal was walking back with a hot chocolate and coffee in hand for Ethan and Amber he came across the doctor who was treating Amber's mother, "How is Mrs Green doing?" He asked. "I'm afraid we lost her about 15 minutes ago" the man spoke, gently placing a comforting hand on Cal's shoulder. Cal felt his heart plummet "Does Amber know?" He asked looking through the window at a sleeping Ethan and Amber. "The two family members in the relatives room have been notified, yes" the doctor concluded. "How about them?" Cal motioned through the window, cup in hand. The doctor shook his head "I'll-" Cal cut him off, "I'll tell her" he looked toward the doctor. "Are you sure, I can-" Cal cut him off once again, "I'm a doctor myself, it's the hard part of the job but it has to be done" he smiled at the doctor who no nodded in agreement. "You can help open this door for me though" he pointed with his foot.

The sound of the door closing behind Cal caused Ethan to wake up. He looked up at his elder brother who slowly shook his head, Ethan knew what he meant. He looked down at Amber. The thought of knowing the next time she woke up she would no longer have a mother made his heart ache.

As Amber opened her eyes it was like she already knew. She looked toward Cal and then to Ethan before she crumbled. She placed her head in her hands and wept uncontrollably Ethan pulled her into him as she continued to cry. He'd never seen Amber like this before. To him, Amber was strong, so, to see her so vulnerable and completely fall apart in front of him was a shock.

They went into the room where her mother was lying Amber sat down next to her bed, Cal and Ethan stood awkwardly back by the door. "She looks so peaceful" Amber spoke as she held her mother's hand, "I'm just glad she doesn't have to put up with my dad anymore" she admitted looking up at the brothers who had a sympathetic look on their faces. "Okay, can we go now?" She forced out a smile. "Are you sure you're done saying goodbye?" Ethan asked "yes, I still have her funeral, that should be fun" she rolled her eyes sarcastically. Ethan and Cal left Amber in the room to say her final goodbyes.

"Ugh i hate this Feeling, I haven't felt like this since mum died" Ethan spoke to his brother in attempt to make conversation. "I haven't felt like this since you nearly died" Cal spoke firmly as he walked away from his younger brother who looked at him in realisation. He hadn't realised the effect of the accident had on Cal. Ethan was in Amber's mother's position lying in the bed, where as Cal was in Amber's position, grieving and worrying being thankful for every moment they spent together. Ethan opened his mouth to speak as Amber walked out of the room wiping her eyes, snapping Ethan out of this trail of thought. She looked up to meet Ethan's gaze, he wrapped his arm around her as they walked away from the last person she would ever associate as a family member.


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry I didn't update yesterday, to make up for it I'll post two chapters today :p This is the first of the two chapters that will be posted today, I hope you enjoy! Please let me know your thoughts on it, I always love reading your reviews, Kayxxx :) **

"Good morning Doctor Hardy, Doctor Knight" Zoe nodded toward the brothers as they walked into the hospital "good morning" Ethan replied with a smile. "No Amber today?" Max asked Ethan as they approached him, "no, it's her mother's funeral however I believe she's stopping by later on" he informed him. "Great" Max grinned.

"When is that drink you promised me going to happen doctor Hardy?" Honey questioned as she handed Ethan a cup of coffee. "I promised you a drink?" Ethan asked confused as he looked up from his notes. "yeah a few weeks ago" Honey replied trying to jog his memory, Ethan stared at her blankly. "When Zoe introduced everyone to Amber" Honey continued. "Oh…you were there?" Ethan asked, continuing his blank stare "I was stood right next to you.." She stated. "Oh yes of course!" Ethan smiled and took a sip out of the coffee she had just given him as he anxiously tried to recall this conversation between the two. "I'm not going to let it slip you know" Honey looked at him knowingly, Ethan looked up awkwardly "evidently not" he smiled. "How about tonight?" She proposed to which Ethan replied to with an unenthusiastic nod as he couldn't for the life of him come up with any excuse to miss the event. "See you then" Honey grinned before turning and heading for her shop.

"So...if you're going out with Honey, does that mean Amber is free?" Max asked sheepishly as he leaned over the counter. "I'm sorry?" Ethan asked confused. "If you're going out with Honey that means you're not going out with Amber, correct?" Max continued. "yes.." Ethan replied still confused as to what he was getting at. "So tonight can finally be the night I get her drunk then" Max replied with an evil grin. "What's this?" Cal asked as he walked in on the conversation. "Can you just for a second bare in mind the fact she's lost her mother and is currently sitting at her funeral before plan on getting anyone drunk" Ethan replied firmly. "We'll show her a good time" Max replied, "won't we" he nudged Cal's arm looking for help, "of course" they both looked toward Ethan waiting for an answer. "She might not even be up for it yet, we'll have to ask her" Lofty spoke responsibly. "Don't worry Ethan, she'll be in good hands" Max laughed. "I'll look after her Eth" Cal promised. "well, as long as you all stay fully clothed!" Ethan warned. "Wow I can't promise you that" Max smiled cheekily, "I'm joking, I'm joking!" He placed his hand on Ethan's back after receiving a rather abrupt death stare from him "is that a yes?" Max asked eagerly. "If she's up for it then yes, but please do take care, grief can hit people in strange ways" he informed as he headed out of the staff room door only to be stopped in his tracks by Zoe.

"Ah Ethan! I've been looking for you!" She smiled. "You obviously didn't look very far" he joked as he looked at her office that was just opposite the room he'd just been in, "yes" she forced out a smile to his expense of another of his awkward jokes. "Next week, it's Jeff's birthday we've all planned to go out for drinks" she spoke as she lowered her voice, Ethan looked toward the ground. "Dixie said she wants everyone there, for Jeff" she spoke, Ethan kept quiet keeping his eyes on the floor, "especially you" she smiled placing her hand on his shoulder. "She said that?" Ethan questioned surprised as he looked up to meet her gaze. "yes" Zoe reassured him. "I'll see what I have planned, I can't promise anything" he informed the awaiting woman "okay well we'd all love to see you there" she smiled before walking into the staff room.

Ethan already knew he had absolutely nothing planned for next week and he could easily make it to the outing, he didn't even know why he'd replied with that. He stood for a moment wondering why his instinct was to reply saying he might not go, was it the fact that deep down he still was not over feeling at fault of Jeff's death or maybe he just really didn't want to go out for drinks? He continued to wander...

-

Amber slowly strolled into reception looking toward the ground. "How was it?" Ethan whispered as he pulled her in for a hug. "Good" she smiled, "well, as good as a funeral can be" she laughed awkwardly, "I'm just happy I never have to see any of my family members again, it all over now!" She admitted seeming more herself "all I need now is a drink" she announced. "Well it's funny you should Say that!" Max grinned as he made his was over to Amber "how do you fancy coming out tonight for a few drinks?" He proposed eagerly "Sounds like just what I need right now" she nodded in agreement. "Oh yes, bring on the night!" Max yelled as he and his other colleagues headed for the door. "Ready Ethan?" Honey smiled as she approached him "yes" he smiled, trying to hide his unenthusiastic sigh. "Oh you're not coming tonight?" Amber questioned seeming shocked "no I'm um, a bit preoccupied" he replied as Honey fiddled with his scarf "right okay" Amber smiled at him knowingly "have fun!" she called back sarcastically, "I'll try" he spoke rolling his eyes. "We will" Honey replied with excitement.

"Right, first drinks are on me!" Amber announced to which Max replied with a scream of "woo!". Cal sat at the bar with the drink Amber had just bought him. They both watched as Max made his way over to a girl in attempt to get her number, they both laughed as to their predictions, the girl answered to Max with a slap in the face. "How have you been?" Amber asked Cal. "Great" he replied with a smile. "Are you sure?" She urged "yes.." He continued confused as to what she was getting at. "Is it nice to have Ethan back to normal, after the accident?" Cal rolled his eyes knowing that the day the conversation he had with Amber about the accident would one day come back to haunt him. "I guess so" he forced out a smile. "Now I understand why it got to you so much, it must have been horrible treating your own brother" she admitted. "it was" he replied taking a sip out of his drink, "we sorted things out that night though, we had a proper talk" he informed her. "That's good" she nodded, "you know how I said sometimes it's good to have a pair of ears to talk to?...those ears will always been here if you need them again" she smiled. Cal looked at her knowingly "now, let's get drunk!" She announced.

*later on in the night*

Cal pulled Amber into his arms as he continued to dance "hi" he smiled awkwardly, "hi" Amber replied with the same smile. "You're beautiful, you know that?" He whispered in her ear causing het to blush. He slowly moved in on her. He placed his hand on her cheek and brought his face closer to hers, he looked her deep in the eyes before closing his and moving closer towards her face. Amber suddenly came to the realisation that Cal was about to kiss her and so she moved he face to the side causing Cal's lips to land on her cheek. "What's up?" He laughed. "I'm not going to kiss you Cal" she spoke firmly. "Oh come on" he replied going in for another kiss. "No Cal" she pushed him away, "what's up?" He replied amused. "This isn't funny" she spoke sounding less amused. "What's stopping you from kissing me?" He laughed as he took her into his arms again, "Is it my brother?" He spoke sarcastically "are you going to let him stop what could became something amazing between us, I mean, there is obviously chemistry here" he drunkenly slurred trying to persuade her. "Your brother isn't stopping anything because with or without him there would never be anything between us, I don't know what you're feeling but there is no chemistry what so ever between us. Cal I have way too much respect for your brother to allow anything to happen between us" she spoke firmly. "he doesn't have to know" he continued with a wink. "No Cal!" She protested starting to get annoyed at his constant pushing on the topic. "What do you love him or something?" He laughed "maybe I do, what's it to you?" She replied sharply. Cal looked at her slowly coming to realisation that this girl genuinely had no feelings what so ever for him, "shall we get another drink then?" He smiled changing the subject and leading her to the bar.

"So are you and Ethan like an official couple yet?" Rita asked as they danced. "Ethan's really special to me" Amber smiled. "You're really special to him" Robyn announced, "as soon as he met you he became himself again, you're like his guardian angel sent down to help him" she continued, Amber smiled. "But you still haven't gained your wings, your job mustn't be done yet" Rita smiled jokingly, "I'd do anything for him" Amber replied blushing slightly "do you like him?" Robyn asked. "I think it's a bit more that "like"" Amber replied to which Rita and Robyn simultaneously replied to with "aw's".

They all continued to dance, drink and laugh together until the early hours of the next morning. "Best. Night. Ever." Max announced as they all stumbled out of the club, "can you please be constantly drunk?" He continued as he grabbed hold of Amber "that's actually a serious question, forget all that "liver problems" stuff you should just always be drunk, please! Seeing you and Rita dancing on that table was such a turn on, right Cal?" "Too right!" He slurred as he took Amber in his arms, "my brother is a lucky man" he smiled as he met her gaze.


	13. Chapter 13

**Second update for the day! Forgot to say, did everyone enjoy casualty yesterday? It was quite a strange one but I did love seeing Ethan in charge :p This is chapter 13 of "Ethan's safety net" I hope you all enjoy, Kayxxx :) **

Ethan shut the door behind him and made his way into the living room. He looked at the clock to see it had just turned eleven, he sighed as he sat down on the couch knowing he would've been home an hour earlier if he didn't have to take a drunken Honey home. He walked upstairs and got on his pyjamas before laying down in his bed. He stared at the ceiling in the dark and began to think about something that had been playing on his mind all night - Jeff's birthday. There was something that was stopping him from going and he didn't know what it was. He felt fine within himself, he knew everyone knew Jeff's death wasn't his fault, and he knew Jeff's death wasn't his fault, but why did he feel like he truly shouldn't go to this party. He sighed before sitting up and switching on the lamp on his bedside table, he picked up a pen and searched under his pillow for his journal, knowing that if he didn't get out what was troubling him, he'd be awake all night long. As he turned to a fresh page he noticed something was written and it wasn't in his handwriting.

"_I will always be here for you, A x_"

Ethan smiled as he ran his fingers over the words written on the page before him, feeling the indent the pen had made on the paper. This made him completely forget about what he was going to write in the first place. He placed the book back under his pillow and slowly drifted off to sleep, still with a smile on his face.

Ethan was awoken a few hours later by the sound of a taxi pulling up outside his house.

"Watch the step" the taxi driver called after Amber who opened up her door to get out, "what did he say?" Amber slurred as she fell out of the taxi face first. "I told her" the driver spoke back to Cal unimpressed. Cal stumbled out of the taxi, and grabbed Amber helping her to her feet as much as he could, as he too could barely stand. He held her close as he leaned back against the taxi laughing, "are you okay?" He spoke lifting up her chin with his finger "I'm fine" Amber laughed as she unsteadily made her way to the door. "Thanks mate" Cal spoke paying the driver, "get some water down that one." The driver motioned toward Amber who was looking through her bag trying to find her key just about keeping herself standing by leaning back against the door. Cal bit his lip as he walked towards her "you were more fun than I expected" he smiled pulling Amber up so she was no longer leaning against the door. "Shhhh" she spoke placing her finger on Cal's lips he couldn't help but laugh, "what-" "shhh" she cut him off. "We don't want to wake Ethan up, he doesn't know I'm drunk" she slurred fiddling with the door, trying to find the keyhole. "Oh I'm sure he'll find out pretty soon" Cal mumbled under his breath as he held Amber's waist keeping her up. "Ahh I think I've got it!" Amber spoke as she fell into the house finding herself at the feet of Ethan who looked down at her unimpressed "we're home!" She announced looking up at Ethan, he looked toward a laughing Cal and shook his head.

"You got her drunk?" Ethan stated defensively as he picked Amber up to her feet "that's your way of helping her deal with her mother passing?" He continued in his defensive tone. "Ay she bought the first drink" Caleb protested leaning back against the wall in attempt to steady himself. "I don't care, you know she doesn't drink!" Ethan argued. "Come on let's get you to bed" Caleb ignored his brother as he took Amber in his arms. "I've already told you once tonight, I'm not going to sleep with you Caleb Knight" she joked pushing Cal away with a hiccup, he laughed as he leaned back against the wall yet again. Ethan looked at his brother in disappointment "why am I not surprised" he rolled his eyes. Ethan knelt down so he was eye level with the drunken girl who sat slumped on the stairs, "aw don't you look cute in your little pjs!" She pulled at Ethan's buttoned-up pyjama top. He forced a smile as he looked at her concerned, giving Cal a sideways glance as he heard him chuckling behind them, "I'm going to get you a glass of water and take you up to bed okay?" Ethan spoke. "Ooooh Ethan's taking me to bed! I haven't got a problem with that one!" She joked, Cal laughed along. "Do you think this is funny?" Ethan called turning to face his older brother, "look at her, she doesn't drink Caleb you know this!" He explained annoyed. "Oh come on, we had a good night" Cal replied still with a smile on his face. "Come on Amber" Ethan spoke gently as he lead her up the steps, she barely got up one before she fell, almost taking Ethan down with her as she stumbled. Ethan picked her up, threw her over one shoulder and headed up the stairs as she continued to giggle. "Good night Cal!" She yelled.

He placed her gently in Cal's bed as he inspected her "oh, what has he done to you?" He whispered shaking his head, Amber laid back placing her head on the pillow as Ethan took off her shoes, "Good night Amber" he whispered as he pulled the covers over her and sat down beside her. "I love you you know Ethan" Amber admitted. "I love you too Amber" he replied jokingly. "No I'm not joking Ethan" Amber showed a sudden sober side as she sat up in her bed and looked into Ethan's eyes. "Neither was I" he smiled awkwardly as he leant in slowly placed his lips on her forehead. "I love you Amber Green" he whispered. "I love you Ethan Hardy" she replied jokingly. "Now get some sleep I'll see you in the morning with some paracetamol for your head" he joked as he left the room.

He walked into the living room to find his shirtless brother unconscious on the couch. "How could you be so immature Caleb?" The mention of his name made him open his eyes "can we not do this now?" He argued turning and facing away from the younger man. "No we will do this now" Ethan protested, switching on the light causing Cal to squint as his half-dead body wasn't quite ready for any light at the moment. "What do you want me to say?" Cal spoke sitting up, "sorry?" He looked at his brother still squinting due to the bright light "she came in tonight laughing and joking, she had a good night Eth!..sorry for showing her a good time" he spoke sarcastically placing his head in his hands. "Promise me you didn't make a move on her" Ethan warned. "what?" "promise me you didn't kiss her" He warned once again, Cal looked toward him unaware of how to answer, "did you take advantage of her because she was drunk?" Ethan continued. "Don't be ridiculous!" Cal replied. "Why? Because that's so ridiculous Cal? Because that's not what you do with every girl you ever go out with?" Ethan stated confidently knowing what he'd just said was nothing but fact. "So what if I did kiss her what's it to you?" Ethan shook his head in disgust, "I love her Caleb, you know I do, everyone knows I do" anger built up inside of him. "Eth, I didn't know you loved her" Cal admitted as he made his way over to his broken brother. "Just leave me alone, I don't know why I ever trusted you anyway, it's my own fault" Ethan held up his hands before storming out of the room switching the light off on his way. Cal collapsed back onto the couch knowing it would be easier for them to talk when he's more sober.


	14. Chapter 14

**Here's chapter 14, hope you enjoy! Feel free to let me know what you think, it's always appreciated, Kayxxx :) **

Amber slowly opened her eyes to find the room spinning. She sat up and placed her head in her hands as the room continued to spin. "Ugh" she groaned as she felt her head thumping. "Good morning" Ethan spoke as he entered her room, "shhh" she winced as the sound of his voice ripped through her ears. "Good morning" Ethan repeated but this time in a quieter tone. He laughed as he sat down beside her, "hungover?" He smiled. "That's a bit of an understatement, I feel like death" she joked. "You look like it too" he joked nudging her. "Oh thanks" she laughed as Ethan handed her the glass of water and two paracetamol tablets that he'd promised to bring the night before. "I'm never drinking again." Ethan laughed in response "honestly, I thought it would help me forget about my mum but now all I've got is thoughts of my mum and a headache from hell" she smiled. Ethan looked at her warily.

A cheerful whistle came from the hall outside the room they sat in. "Good morning" Cal smiled as he searched on the floor for some clean clothes, "how the hell are you not hungover?" Amber looked toward him amazed. "You are?!" He looked toward her amazed, "ah that's right, your a hangover virgin, good luck" he laughed. "Ethan, can I talk to you for a minute?" Cal spoke as he pulled on what looked like a clean top. "I've got nothing to say" Ethan replied firmly. Amber looked at the two brothers unaware of what had happened to cause them to act this way. "Well I have." Cal replied motioning Ethan to leave the room, he sighed before heading out the door, leaving Amber to get ready.

"What?" Ethan looked at his older brother unenthusiastically. "Are you going to Jeff's birthday?" Cal asked. "That's what you needed to talk to me about?" Ethan looked at him in confusion. "Yeah I was just wondering if you're up for it" Cal explained, "yeah, I'm fine" Ethan snapped. The room fell silent, they looked at each other awkwardly, both knowing the conversation hadn't ended there. "I didn't kiss her you know" Cal spoke breaking the awkward silence, "I tried to, but she pulled away, Ethan she really likes you" he reassured his younger brother. "I'm a bit jealous if I must say" he nudged him. "You're jealous of me?" He looked up at his older brother surprised. "Of course! Ethan you've got a beautiful, intelligent girl who is in love with you, you're an amazing doctor and an amazing person! People look up to you. What do people expect from me? To try it on with any girl I see and roll in drunk at 4 in the morning, And then repeat this exact same thing again the next day. You know sometimes, I wish I were more like you, maybe one day I'll tone it down but for now, I quite enjoy rolling in at 4 in the morning" he smiled. "We should change roles for the day" Ethan suggested jokingly "I couldn't really see you drunk" Cal laughed. "No me either" he looked over Cal's shoulder and laughed at Amber who slumped out of Cal's room and slowly dropped to the floor as an act to make him smile "Kill. Me. Now" she called out, her voice was muffled as her face was buried into the floor. The brothers both laughed as they looked toward her. "Right let's get to work" Ethan announced as he stepped over Amber's body "ugh" she moaned as she sat up.

"Right Ethan, Cal and Amber, which one of you can drive today?" Connie looked toward the three who'd just walked through the hospital door, "what?" Ethan replied confused. "I told you all, you're booked in on a course to learn how to use the new equipment, we need a driver" she stated looking for a volunteer. Ethan looked back at Cal and Amber knowing both of them probably still had too much alcohol in their systems to show up clear on a breathalyser test. He turned back to meet Connie's gaze "um, I suppose that will be me" Ethan replied unenthusiastically. "Right, wait here for Tess and Rita, they'll be along soon" Connie handed Ethan the keys to the hospital car. He looked down at the keys he held and began to fiddle with them, he hadn't even noticed anyone had been talking to him until Cal nudged him causing him to snap out of his thoughts, he looked up surprised to see Rita and Tess stood before him looking concerned. "Are we ready?" He forced out a smile as he walked toward the door leaving his colleagues behind. They all looked toward each other knowingly.

Ethan sat behind the steering wheel of the hospital people carrier and stared blankly ahead of him. His mind was blank, he couldn't recall what to do with the, what he calls "doo-dah's". His mind was full of the haunting memories of the last time he had to drive the hospital car filled with his colleagues. He turned the key and the engine began. He let out a shaky deep breath as he began to drive, he stalled sharply causing the car to jerk. He closed his eyes trying to compose himself. "Ethan, would you like me to drive?" Tess placed a hand on his shoulder, she looked at him concerned. He turned to meet her concerned gaze she saw his eyes were filling up with tears, he slowly nodded as he took off his seat belt. He wasn't ready for this responsibly again, not after last time. Ethan swapped seats with Tess and sat in the back, behind the driver's seat. He let out a sigh of relief as he strapped himself in "are you okay?" Amber placed her hand over his, he slowly nodded forcing out a smile. "Right we've got a long drive so get yourselves comfortable!" Tess announced as she drove out of the hospital car park. Cal turned back to look at his younger brother who had his eyes closed, and his head resting back against his seat. His gaze then moved across to Amber, they both looked at each other showing concern for Ethan.

The day of training went well. Ethan composed himself before he got there, seeming more himself. Cal and Amber kept a wary eye on Ethan throughout the day and Amber made plans to talk to Ethan about the accident before Jeff's party came along. If just being in a car could have this affect on him then what affect of being at a party surrounded by Jeff's grieving friends and colleagues have on him? Seeing how Ethan was this morning in the car brought back memories for everyone. For Tess it was Ethan's motionless body laying behind the steering wheel of the smashed up car, for Amber it was remembering Ethan's colour drain from his face when Cal brought up the accident in attempt to make him leave the room, and for Cal, it was inserting the needle into his brothers chest that saved his life, it was seeing his younger brother continue to suffer more and more each and everyday thinking Jeff's death was his fault, it was holding Ethan in his arms as he weeped saying he couldn't live knowing Jeff died because of him. No one liked seeing an unhappy Ethan? Amber didn't dare think of how he'd react if he was still in this mindset this time next week. Something had to be done.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15 of "Ethan's safety net" I've loved reading all your comments and predictions on my story it's really interesting to see what you all think! Hope you all enjoy this chapter, Kayxxx :) **

"Jeff's birthday today" Cal stated as a quiet reminder to his brother. "Yes I'm aware" Ethan spoke as he turned into the hospital car park. Cal looked at Amber knowingly in the rearview mirror, she gave him a slight nod before he continued. "Are you coming tonight?" Cal looked over his shoulder and spoke to Amber "yes" she smiled, "though I won't be drinking much, god last week nearly killed me!" She joked. "Are you?" Cal looked at Ethan who had now parked his car. "Yes" he replied sternly as he took off his seatbelt, "is that a problem?" Ethan looked up to meet Cal's gaze to which he replied to with a shake of his head. "Are you going to be okay?" Cal spoke lowering his voice. Ethan sighed and looked over his glasses at Cal "why wouldn't I be?" He opened the door and slammed it behind him leaving Cal and Amber sitting in the car.

He stormed into the hospital alone almost bumping into Rita on the way, "woah slow down there speedy gonzales" she held up her hands defensively. "Sorry Rita I-" she cut him off "are you okay, you look troubled?" she asked concerned, he looked over her shoulder to see Cal and Amber walking through the hospital door "I'm fine" he spoke before turning away from her. "What's up with him?" Rita questioned as Cal and Amber reached her, they both looked toward each other unaware of how to answer. "Oh right, it's Jeff's birthday!" She spoke coming to realisation, "poor thing" she continued looking over at Ethan. "Are you two coming tonight then?" She smiled trying to brighten up the conversation. "Yes" they replied simultaneously.

Ethan slowed to a stop as he reached reception finding a huge card with Jeff's face on it, surrounded by a load of flowers "_Happy Birthday our hero!_" the card read. A bunch of his colleagues gathered around the card admiring. Noel stopped his admiring as he caught Ethan watching, "are you okay mate?" Noel called over to Ethan who continued to stare at the sight before him. All his colleagues who stood around the card turned to meet Ethan's pained gaze. He turned and headed for the staff room. He sat on the couch and placed his head in his hands. Suddenly he felt someone sit down beside him, he looked up to find Amber looking at him concerned, she placed her hand on his back as he placed his head back in his hands. "Are you sure you can deal with tonight?" Amber spoke cutting to the chase. Ethan groaned as he lifted his head back up "yes! For the last time YES! I wish everyone would just leave me alone, I'm fine!" Ethan snapped before storming away from Amber leaving her speechless. "Are you okay?" Cal asked as he'd just witnessed his younger brother's outburst, "yes I'm fine, but he's obviously not. Cal what are we going to do?" She asked as she helplessly wondered "we'll just have to leave him to it, he wants to go so we'll just have to keep an eye on him" he spoke sternly as they made plans.

"Have we gone back in time or something?" Max asked as he made his way to Cal "it's like your brother has gone back to the way he was after the crash, he hasn't spoken a word!" He explained. "He's fine" Cal replied, he was taken by how much he sounded like his brother as he spoke. This is exactly what Ethan would say, "I'm fine" knowing fully well that he's not, but saving himself from giving an explanation.

Ethan looked at his reflection in the mirror, this didn't look like him. He looked drained, tired, lost. He had bags under his eyes and his face looked ragged. He splashed his face with ice cold water and let it slowly trickle it's way down his face and neck, the temperature of the water startled him as it made contact with his skin. He dried his face and put on his glasses. It was like his glasses were a disguise, he didn't look as tired and worn out with them on, they hid the bags. He sighed as he took one last look at himself and began to wonder. He thought about his mother and what she would be saying if she was beside him right now. She'd probably tell him to stop moping around and smile, because his smile was always her favourite thing about him. He began to think about the people he had in his life, the ones that will always be there no matter how hard he tries to push them away many faces came to mind but the main ones were Cal and Amber. He shook his head as he thought how he'd been acting towards them lately, especially Cal. He knows how hard it is for Cal to show his feelings, and yet whenever he did Ethan would only push him away or reply with something rude or disheartening. "Stop being so selfish" he whispered before he turned and headed out of the bathroom door, taking a deep breath as he did.

The end of shift came and all colleagues gathered around reception. Ethan made his way to the crowd, all looked towards him awkwardly not knowing what mood he was in. He walked over to Amber and pulled her to the side "listen, I'm sorry for how I spoke to you earlier on. It was just that I'd literally been in work for less than five minutes and already four people had asked how I was, I just couldn't be doing with it. I know you were only looking out for me and I'm grateful for that, I just-" Amber cut him off, "don't worry about it" she smiled, "but please just promise me one thing? If at all tonight you feel like you want to leave or that you're not up to it please just let me know" She suggested trying to reason with him "or cal" she added, he nodded with a smile as Amber led him into the crowd.

"Right, tonight is in honour of Jeffrey, and I'm sure the last thing he'd want is for all of us to be standing around moping, so let's get drunk!" Dixie announced, all the colleagues cheered as they made their way to the door. Cal looked toward Honey confused as to why she wasn't following "are you coming Honey?" He asked. "Oh no thanks, I can sense something bad is going to happen tonight, I'd rather stay away" she gave Ethan a look before she continued, "have a drink for me though yeah?" She smiled as she walked back to her shop. Cal, Ethan and Amber all looked toward each other warily before they slowly headed out door...


	16. Chapter 16

**Is lot of people have been saying they're excited for this chapter and so I hope you all enjoy, here is chapter 16 of "Ethan's Safety net" Kayxxx **

Definition: "Safety net" - Something that provides protection or security.

They all started off the night by having a shot each, for Jeff. "First round is on me" Ethan announced slapping a £50 note onto the bar "Are you sure?" Dixie asked taking hold of Ethan's hand, "defiantly" he smiled. Cal kept a wary eye on Ethan. He placed a drink in Ethan's hand, before he could even tell his brother what it consist of, he'd already drunk it. Amber and Cal looked at him shocked as he placed the empty glass down on the bar. "Yes! Now this Ethan I can get used to!" Max shouted amazed placing another drink in his hand. He put his arm around him and pulled him through the crowds of people, disappearing onto the dance floor. "Is he okay?" Dixie asked sounding concerned, Cal and Amber both looked towards each other, unaware of how to answer. He obviously was not okay. He was extremely far from it. "Maybe this isn't a good idea" Amber spoke into Cal's ear so he could hear her through the beat of the music, "I'll take him home" she concluded, Cal gave her a nod and she made her way through the crowds in attempt to find Ethan.

"Ethan?" She called "Ethan?!" She shouted louder. Suddenly she found herself being pulled into someone's arms, "hey gorgeous who you looking for?" A man drunkenly slurred, the smell of alcohol hit her face as he spoke. "Ethan" she replied moving her face away from him out the way of his deadly breath. "I can be Ethan for you if you want" the man winked at her before pinching her bum. "Get off me!" She screamed as she pushed the man away from her she turned to see Ethan sat at the bar, with a drink in hand.

"Hey" she smiled sitting down next to him, he looked up at her, he squinted his eyes focusing so he could see her properly, "hello beautiful" he smiled. "How much have you had to drink?" She laughed. "I'm not quite sure, I lost count a while ago" he replied with a hiccup. "I think "one to many" may be the answer to that question" she smiled, "drinking isn't the answer Ethan, I figured that one out for myself" she informed him sounding more serious, "Come on let's get you home, we can talk about it" he nodded slowly. She stood up and took hold of Ethan, helping him down off the stool he sat on, he stumbled forward slightly landing in Amber's arms, "woah woah, don't worry I've got you" she smiled steadying the drunken man. Ethan smiled, this was the first time he'd properly smiled all day, "you've got me" he echoed Amber's words "you know what you are?" He spoke, bringing his face closer to Amber's. "What?" She laughed unaware of where this conversation was leading "my safety net" he smiled, as he locked eyes with Amber. He stared deep into Amber's eyes as he took her hands in his, they intertwined at their sides. He moved his face slowly closer to hers, she looked back into his golden eyes unaware of what he was going to do next. She felt butterflies in her stomach as she continued to stare into his eyes, getting more and more lost in them as the seconds slowly ticked by. He took a really deep breath as if he'd built himself up for something and closed his eyes, as he done this he tilted his head slightly and the next thing Amber knew, their lips were pressed together. She grabbed onto his shirt and pulled his body in closer to hers as they continued to kiss.  
>Suddenly she felt him pull away, "I'm sorry" He looked down towards the ground awkwardly, "don't be" she placed her hands on his face and gently pulled him back in kissing him once more. An explosion of emotions burst within Ethan, he'd never felt anything like this before, sure he'd kissed people before..but it never made him feel like this. Maybe it was because he was drunk? Or maybe it was because the feelings he had for Amber truly were stronger than he thought. He pulled away from Amber, she looked at him, he looked as though he was deep in thought, "Amber.." He began as he slowly came to realisation, "I think I'm in love with you" he admitted. "You've defiantly had too much to drink" she joked. "No no I'm serious, Amber I love you" he repeated once more.<p>

He always knew he loved her but he didn't know just how much he actually did, he never wanted to let her go. "That's good because I love you too" she smiled, "you're just saying that so it's not awkward" he replied looking down. "Ethan I wouldn't play with your emotions like that, whether you remember this conversation when you wake up tomorrow or not is irrelevant, Ethan Hardy I am completely in love with you" she admitted confidently. As Ethan looked into Amber's eyes, he could see his future, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with girl who stood before him. He recalled a patient he'd treated a few weeks ago, Mrs. Fisher, she told him that he'd know the feeling when he finds the one and never wants to let them go. He smiled as he looked at Amber, knowing that this was the feeling Margret had spoken about and knowing that she, Amber, was the one. "Aw, young love" a drunken Dixie slurred as she over heard the conversation between the two. Ethan's smile slowly dropped as he turned to face her sensing the tone in her voice, "it's the best you know..being in love with your best friend, but it's harder losing them" she spoke to Ethan, her words made his heart sink. Many drunken thoughts chased through his mind, his vision went blurred and he suddenly felt weak, he began to wonder whether his heart had actually sunk. "Ethan?" he heard Amber's voice call, even though she was stood right next to him she sounded distant. He suddenly turned and stormed off into the crowds and away from Dixie. "Ethan!" Amber called, she stood up to chase after him but was stopped in her tracks when Dixie grabbed hold of her hand "he needs time to think, just leave him" She spoke "what you said then was uncalled for Dixie, you know how he feels about what happened, why did you have to bring it up?!" She fought "oh it's all so bad for Ethan isn't it! Selfish." She replied sarcastically "Dixie Jeff is dead. I'm so sorry about that but that's how it is. He's gone. Dixie you have to move on, everyone does! Just as you saw Ethan finally wanting to move on you brought it all back to him, he's not the selfish one Dixie, you are." Amber turned and began her search for Ethan. She knew what she'd just said was harsh, but right now she didn't care. All she wanted was Ethan.

He stumbled his way out of the club out onto an alleyway, he leaned against a wall and rested his head back as his head spun. His heart was racing, his chest was pounding, he closed his eyes desperately trying to catch his breath, it felt as though he had a ball caught in his throat causing each breath to become harder and harder to take. His body began to tremble, his legs went weak, he slumped back against a bin allowing it to take his weight, he placed his head in his hands in attempt to stop the world from spinning around him. He didn't know what to do, where to go, if he was going to pull through this strange attack, the only thing he was 100% positive about was that Dixie blamed him for Jeff's death. "A drunk person's words are a sober person's thoughts". Dixie's words pounded around his head as he fought back his haunting thoughts. He felt like screaming he couldn't hear himself think as his memories flashed through his mind, a thousand feelings hit him.  
>"Look it's my brother!" Cal called as he and Max made their way over to him, Ethan looked up to find two blurry figures walking his way. "Are you okay mate?" Max asked with a chuckle, as he puffed on his cigarette, "too much to drink?" He added patting him on the back. Ethan stayed quiet, focusing more on trying to steady his breathing than what the drunken man was saying. "Ethan" Cal kneeled down so he was level to his brother's eyes "I'm always here for you, you know that right?" His voice sounded distant, he couldn't hear properly through is racing mind. Ethan managed to stand, he brushed passed his brother stumbling slightly as he done so and headed back into the club. "Eth?" Cal called after him as he made his way from him. "Ethan?" He called again becoming concerned, he chased after him opening the door to the club only to be hit by the pounding music and floods of drunken crowds dancing and singing ahead of him. Ethan was no where in sight. "Dixie have you seen Ethan?" He asked shouting over the music, she rolled her eyes and turned her back on the younger man. Cal just assumed she hadn't heard him properly, knowing nothing on what happened earlier in the night involving her and his brother. He made his way through the crowds being pushed and shoved as he fought his way through. "Amber!" He shouted as he spotted her doing the same "have you seen Ethan?" They both asked simultaneously. Something was wrong.<p>

15 minutes had passed, Cal and Amber had had no luck in finding Ethan. The rest of the staff were wondering around trying their best to help but it was like trying asking a blind man for directions, they were all that drunk, It's a wonder they could even recall what Ethan looked like. "Any luck?" Cal placed his hand on Amber's back as he found his way back to her again, she shook her head. Both had concern etched on their faces "Cal I'm scared" she admitted. "He may be drunk but he's the smartest man I know, he'll be fine" he spoke trying to reassure both Amber and himself.


	17. Chapter 17

**Left on quite a cliff hanger yesterday, sorry everyone ;p here's the next chapter, what will become of Ethan? Will Cal and Amber find him? **

**Chapter 17 **

"Ethan?" Cal and Amber called as they exited the back door of the club and into the alleyway where Cal saw Ethan last, their ears were ringing with the music that had been pounding all night. "Ethan please" Amber called as she looked around her, trying to hold back her cry. "Oh god Cal no" she placed her hands over her face and the tears began to fall from her eyes "what's is it?" Cal asked concerned, she pointed to the floor before them what looked like a pair of smashed up glasses. Ethan's glasses. "Cal no, where is he?! I can't loose him Cal I can't" Amber crumbled as Cal took her into his arms, "shhh I know I know, we're going to find him I promise" he reassured her as he desperately held back his tears. As he opened his eyes he could see a street light flickering in the distance, the street light shone down on the alleyway which was filled with bins. He focused on the bin beneath the flickering lamp. He still had Amber in his arms. The more he focused the more he could make out a figure laying flat on the floor.

"Oh god no" Cal brushed passed Amber and sprinted over to the bin he slowed as he reached it, he found himself stood in a pool of blood, taking slow steps towards the figure he was scared to look in fear it was his brother. He started at the feet of the body before slowly making his way up, he closed his eyes tightly before he reached the body's face. He pulled himself together and opened his eyes. With this he crumbled to floor as to his worst fear, he saw his brother lay flat on the floor in a pool of his own blood before him, he was so badly beaten almost unrecognisable but Cal knew..he knew, this was his brother. Cal sat in the bloody street and pulled up his brother into his arms, he gently rocked backwards and forwards with him as he wrapped his arms around his little brother and wept "Ethan can you hear me? It's going to be okay, you're going to be okay" he sobbed as he buried his face into his brother's motionless body.

"Help please somebody!" Amber yelled desperately over the loud music. "What is it?" Charlie asked concerned "it's Ethan" she cried. All her colleagues stood up instantly and rushed out to help. As they reached Cal they were all sickened by the sight that lay before them. "That's Ethan?!" Max spoke as he looked down at the bloody body.

As Rita called for an ambulance Charlie kneeled down beside Ethan and Cal "Cal you need to talk to me, what's his situation..Doctor Knight?" Charlie spoke referring to Caleb as "doctor" in hopes it would make his doctor instincts kick in, making him focus more. Cal desperately tried to speak as he held his brother in his arms his hands were shaking frantically, "he-he's got a weak pulse, he um.." He stopped talking breaking down as tears flooded from his eyes. "Okay, leave it to me Cal, go" Charlie spoke dismissing him, Cal slowly rose to his feet keeping his eyes fully focused on his little brother at all times, Max and Lofty led him away from the scene.

"Ay mate, I think this is his wallet" a young boy called after Cal. He turned to see the boy who had his face covered by a hoodie. "His wallet?" Cal asked confused. "Yeah it was on the floor" the boy handed it to Cal, he looked at his knuckles to find they were covered in blood as he took the wallet off him "it's empty" he spoke, the boy shrugged. Cal put is hands in the boy's pocket and pulled out a load of money that fell like confetti as he through it to the side. As Cal pulled out the money a knife covered with blood fell out also and hit the floor. Both men looked toward the floor as the knife fell, Cal slowly rose his head as the realisation hit him. Before the boy got the chance to say another word Cal pinned him up against the wall as the boy screamed. Cal clenched his fists and hit him hard in the face, he repeatedly hit the boy as hard as he could as hatred built up inside of him, it took both Max and Lofty to pull Cal off the now bloody and battered boy who collapsed to the floor. "What was that?!" Max yelled as he fiercely pushed Cal away from the boy. "He did this to Ethan" he stated in disgust "look at his knuckles..he had his money, HE DONE THIS!" Cal roared violently as he tried to push past Max to get to the boy again. Max held Cal back pushing him away from the scene as Lofty bend down to treat the boy. The boy was screaming in pain. "It's okay I'm a nurse" Lofty reassured him. "What's his problem?" He managed to speak through his cry, "that man's wallet you had, the man you attacked? That was his brother and one of my best friends and knowing you done that to him makes me feel physically sick the fact I'm helping you and I wish I'd just left him to attacking you, so if you'd kindly shut up that would help a lot before I finish off what Cal started" Lofty threatened as he began to stem the boy's wounds.

The sound of sirens ripped through the streets as the ambulance pulled up in the alleyway. "He's been mugged, his body is badly beaten, it looks as though he's got some stab wounds to his stomach though it's hard to make anything out through all the blood, he's been unconscious for a while, his pulse is weak...it doesn't look too good" Charlie explained as he led the paramedic toward the scene. They placed Ethan on a trolley rolled him passed his colleagues to get to the ambulance, they all watched sickened that anyone could do such a thing to anyone, never mind Ethan who was one of the nicest people they'd ever met. Rita held Amber in her arms as she cried. Max had his hands on Cal's shoulders as he watched his brother get wheeled passed him, Max looked away as the sight of Ethan was too much for him to take in. "I'm going with him" Cal shook Max off and chased after Ethan's trolley, jumping in the ambulance after it. He sat down beside his brother and placed his head in his hands "please" he whispered desperately as he took Ethan's hand in his.

The hospital doors burst open, Connie walked up to treat the casualty. "Cal?" She asked concerned as she saw an emotional and worn out Cal walking along side the trolley, "This is Ethan?" She looked at the man and was taken back completely by the sight before her professional side kicked in again. She led the trolley and paramedic into a room where she began to check Ethan over, treating him as she worked. She looked up to meet Cal's terrified gaze has he watched her every move. "Cal, he's stable now, he's still not out of the woods but for now, he's stable, go get a coffee or something, try to relax." she spoke softly, he didn't flinch "Cal, if anything changes in his condition I'll get you okay? Now go" she ordered, though she still had a gentleness to her voice. He looked at her and slowly nodded, he turned and walked out the door, he placed his head against it as it closed taking deep breaths, steadying himself before walking away from the room.

Connie turned back to face Ethan who lay before her. She looked at his stomach to see he had three deep stab wounds, his torso was bruised, his face now looked more recognisable as his cuts had been stemmed and the blood had been cleared. She shook her head in disbelief watching the young man's chest rise and fall as he took his breaths. She closed her eyes and desperately prayed that he'd be strong enough to pull through, for Cal's sake.


	18. Chapter 18

**Sorry everyone! So Amber and Cal did find Ethan but not exactly how everyone would have liked...Here's the next chapter, will Ethan pull through? **

Chapter 18

"Knowing Ethan as Ethan, he's a strong man, he's very smart, he doesn't give in easily, but how he's been the last couple of days...you could say he was almost looking for any opportunity for him to give in, he wasn't in a good place" Zoe whispered as they to Rita as they stood over his bed. "Let's just hope to god his body isn't in the same place his mind is and he'll pull through" Rita replied. Ethan had now been placed in a side room as his condition had stayed stable, he was in an induced coma to allow his body to focus fully on recovering from the attack.

There was a light knock on the door which caused Zoe and Rita to stop talking, Cal was stood in the door way, looking tired and worn out. "How are you feeling?" Rita walked up to him and placed her hand on his shoulder in attempt to comfort him, Cal tried to speak but no words came out. He looked up to Zoe "there's been no change" she answered knowing what he was going to say, he nodded his head and took a seat beside Ethan's bed. Rita and Zoe left him to be with his brother.

"I'm going to watch what I say here because last time I was in this situation I made a right fool of myself as I thought you were asleep and I completely spilled my heart out to you" he joked though it pained him to smile, "god Ethan, I wish you'd just spoken about how you felt we could've avoided this whole thing!" He sighed as a tear trickled down his face "you better use every single bit of energy you've got left in you to pull through this Ethan I swear to god I can't loose you, I can't be left alone on that beach waiting for someone to come and pick me up and tell me everything's going to be okay again like my dream, that's your job! Who else will do that? You're all I've got left Eth" More tears made their way out of Cal's eyes, he wiped them away with the back of his hand and laughed "you should be making fun of me, I'm sat here crying like a baby!" His smile dropped, "come on Ethan. I know you've got it **in** you, you can do this" he spoke in determination. There was a knock at the door which made him snap out of his thoughts, he looked up to find Amber stood holding two cups, "fancy a coffee?" She forced out a smile, he smiled as he looked at her giving her a nod. She sat down on the chair on the other side of Ethan's bed and looked at him. It brought her pain to see him like this. She took his hand in hers and gently pressed her lips against it as she let the tears fall.

Hours passed, neither Cal or Amber moved. They just sat, waiting, praying, hoping. It was all anyone could do at this time.

Ethan could hear the familiar sound of a machine beeping in the background. He wondered for a moment whether he'd fallen asleep at work. He then cancelled out that thought as pain ran through every part of his body, he realised it must have been his machine, at least he hoped, this much pain wasn't a normal thing to feel if he was just asleep. He slowly opened his eyes and winced as the pain continued. He looked to see the ceiling was above him, he was laying in a bed, in hospital. He anxiously tried to recall how all of this could have happened. He thought about how many drinks he must have had, he remembered telling Amber that he loved her, the last memory he had of the night was Cal kneeling down before him in the alleyway. It then hit in, where was Cal?  
>"Cal?" He tried to shout though it came out more of a whisper, "Cal!" He called out again clearing his throat, this time it was a shout. Cal sat up suddenly, he'd fallen asleep in the chair beside Ethan's bed. "Ethan!" He looked at his brother relieved. "What happened? Are you okay? Where's Amber?" Ethan panicked desperately trying to sit up no matter how much pain he was in. "Ethan calm down! It's Okay!" He eased his brother laying him back down "you're the one in a hospital bed and you're asking if I'm okay?" Cal laughed, Ethan looked at him still with panic in his eyes. "I'm fine" he reassured him. "Ethan you were mugged" he spoke softly, a look of confusion grew across his brother's face as to why he couldn't recall anything "and Amber.." Cal spoke just as Amber rushed into the room followed by Rita and Connie "is right here" he smiled at her. "He started to move so I went to get help" she explained to Cal before she looked toward Ethan "you're awake!" She smiled as she made her way over to Ethan "yes" she looked at him amazed. Ethan winced in pain as Connie inspected him. "It would be best if you two leave, he needs his rest" Connie spoke firmly looking toward Cal and Amber. They both left Ethan's room, they looked toward each other in disbelief "did that just happen?" Amber spoke stunned "I was just thinking the same thing" Cal replied, he pulled her in for a hug, they couldn't believe their luck, they both put it down to nothing more than a miracle.<p>

"How's Ethan?" Max asked as he walked up to where Cal was sat, he was scared to get an answer in fear it would be bad news. "He's..actually great, he woke up for a while he was talking to me" he spoke, still not fully come to terms with how lucky he had been. "What?! He pulled through?" Max looked at him in complete shock, Cal nodded excitedly, "Cal, don't be getting your hopes up too much, no one can recover from something that bad, that quickly" Lofty stated slowly. "what are you saying?" Cal looked at him in defensively. "All I'm saying is this will take time to get over, this could've just been a minor break through, he's not strong enough yet" he continued "it's still touch and go" he added. "He is strong Lofty, he woke himself out of the coma, tell me that's not strong?" Cal continued defensively. "How many times have you seen that happen as a doctor, Cal?" Lofty spoke slightly raising his voice as he desperately tried to get reality through to Cal. Cal slowly came to realisation that he was being completely deluded. Of course Ethan wasn't going to pull through just like that, he had a very long way to go.


	19. Chapter 19

**Thank you all for your comments and reviews, as always I Love reading what you have to say. Here is the next chapter, I hope you enjoy, Kayxxx :) ps who's excited for Casualty tonight?! I am! **

Chapter 19

He lay still in his bed as his body ached in pain, he took deep breaths on the oxygen mask that was placed over his nose. He closed his eyes and desperately hoped for the pain to come to an end. Every time he blinked he was in pain, every breath he took brought him pain. Simple, easy, things that he'd usually do naturally without any thought were becoming the most challenging. He dread to think what pain sitting up and actually moving around would bring to him. He was too busy focusing on making the pain go away to realise that someone was in the room with him. He opened his eyes to find Lofty stood beside him looking through his notes. "Oh I'm sorry, did I wake you?" Lofty looked down noticing Ethan had opened his eyes, "no" Ethan replied breathlessly. "How are you feeling?" Lofty whispered as he sat down beside him. Ethan winced in pain as he attempted to turn his head to look at him. "Sorry, that was a stupid question" Lofty went on. "You look terrible" he joked, Ethan smiled painfully under his mask. "I just thought I'd come and see how you were getting on, my shift starts soon so I'll get going" Lofty explained seeing Ethan struggling to keep his eyes open as he sat beside him.

Ethan opened his eyes to find Lofty gone, he must have fallen asleep. Although he'd just woken up he felt tired and worn on, the second he woke the pain kicked in again. He realised that Cal's shift would be starting soon and so he'd be in to visit in any time now, if he hadn't already missed him. He lay waiting, watching the clock knowing his brother would be in any minute. He knew that Cal wouldn't want to see him feeling like this, if he saw how badly he was feeling it would play on his mind all day, and that's not what Ethan wanted for his brother. Ethan decided it would be best for him to act as though he was fine, it should be easy enough, he'd been doing it for the last couple of months. In the time Ethan had spent alone he was left to do a lot of thinking, with this he had came up with things he had to say to Cal and Amber.

"Hi" Ethan's face lit up as Cal sat down beside him, "how're you feeling?" Cal asked. "Fine" Ethan smiled, Cal rolled his eyes and looked at him knowingly, "well, not necessarily, obviously" Ethan laughed, his hands automatically shot up to his sides as the strain of laughing caused pain to run through is aching body. Cal watched him warily "Ethan you have to say if you're not okay you know how serious this is" he warned, Ethan nodded. "I can't wait to get out of this place" Ethan spoke excitedly in attempt to brighten up the conversation. "Well you could be waiting a while, though you say you're fine, your stats say otherwise" Cal spoke as he looked through Ethan's notes.

"Cal, I'm sorry I acted like such an idiot" Ethan started his planned out speech, continuing his _"I'm okay" _act. Cal looked up from reading "what?" He asked confused. "Before this happened, I was acting like a complete idiot, I pushing people away and telling myself I was fine when I clearly wasn't. Thank you for being there for me, I know it didn't look like I appreciated it much but I did" Ethan admitted, Cal looked at his brother not knowing what to make of what he was saying. "You know what it made me realise though? That you don't need me as much as you think, you can do just as fine with me fully there as you would without, if not better! You're stuck on the idea that I'm your safety net when, in fact, you are your own." Cal opened his mouth to speak but Ethan cut him off as he desperately wanted to finish what he had planned before the pain would become too much to ignore, "all I'm saying is that I know you said you wish you were more like me but, you're an amazing person, and an amazing doctor and if anything I wish I was more like you. You think no one looks up to you? Well you're wrong because I do. I always have Cal, since I was tiny. One thing I know for definite is that mum would be proud of you Caleb, you're doing fine! Maybe just cut down a little on the 4 am pub trips but other than that you'll do amazingly. You don't need me constantly there, these last couple of months have proved that. Cal I just want you to know that I am so proud of you and although you can be really annoying sometimes..I love you" Ethan smiled as he looked at his brother, he sighed with relief as he'd made it through his speech without screaming in pain which was what he'd wanted to do the entire time. Cal went to open his mouth to speak but was again cut off by Ethan "look at the time, your shift is about to start!" Ethan urged hoping his brother would leave soon so he could drop his act. Cal nodded and rose, before he turned around he took his brother in for a hug, he gently held him for a few moments taking in what it felt like to hold him. "Don't get all soppy on me" Ethan spoke with a laugh that brought him pain. Cal looked deep into Ethan's eyes as tears filled up in his. "Ethan, my little brother, I love you and I'll always be here for you" he spoke, Ethan looked at him knowingly. Cal composed himself and walked to leave the room. He stopped as he reached the door and turned back, taking one last look at his brother before he left, they both shared smiles and he left for work.

As the door shut and Cal disappeared, Ethan broke down, his body went into shock. The pain that he'd been hiding during Cal's visit took over him. He groaned and desperately hoped for the pain to stop. He knew that hiding his pain wasn't a good idea, but if it stopped those around him from feeling pain too then it was worth it. The only person he knew how much pain he was in was Lofty, who had seen him last night, when Ethan wasn't thinking straight enough to think of starting his "I'm okay" act, he could only hope Lofty would stay quiet at least until Ethan was actually starting to feel okay again, if that day would ever come, Ethan had started to forget what it felt like to feel fine.


	20. Chapter 20

**This is the next chapter of "Ethan's safety net"! Did everyone enjoy Casualty last night? *SPOILERS* I love having Dylan back, I've missed his straight talking manor! I felt sorry for Ethan though "I feel like I've been ran over by a bus" bless him :') Dixie scattering Jeff's ashes absolutely broke my heart :( Anyway, here's chapter 20, I hope you all enjoy, please let me know what you think, Kayxxx :) **

Chapter 20

The last thing on Ethan's to do list was to speak to Amber. "Good morning" Ethan smiled as Amber walked into his room "hello" she smiled back. "How are you doing?" She asked as she sat on the edge of his bed "better now I've seen you" he replied making Amber blush. Amber crossed her legs and sat facing him. "I'm sick of fruit, it's all I've been eating" Ethan pointed to a bag of grapes on the table to the side of him, "it'll do you good" Amber laughed as she took a handful and started eating placing her finger over her mouth motioning Ethan not to tell anyone about her eating them for him. Ethan smiled as he watched her.

They started to talk about the things they spoke about on their first date, their favourite movie, favourite food, they laughed as they recalled the game they played with the chocolate popcorn, they sat reminiscing their times they'd spent together with smiles constantly etched into their faces. "Amber I just wanted to say thank you, without you I probably wouldn't have lasted until now. My mind was in a really strange place before I met you but you changed that all. You made me remember what it was like to feel happy again, to feel free again, to well, actually _feel_ again. You made me feel alive again and completely forget the reason why I felt so down. You truly are my safety net." He took hold of Amber's hand as he continued "thank you for being there for Cal as well, I know he opened up to you about the crash the first day we met, he needed someone to talk to and I wasn't really the right person for that, giving how I was feeling. I think him knowing you were there for him made him better too, you're like a giant safety net made to protect everyone" he smiled. "A communal safety net" Amber laughed. "I didn't realise how much how I felt affected those around me but now I do and I feel amazing Amber, I really do. And it's thanks to you" Amber leant down and gently pressed her lips against his, they, funnily enough, were the only part on his face that wasn't damaged from his attack. It was like his lips were left unscathed just for Amber. "I love you, you know" he smiled as she kissed him "I know" she smiled as she kissed him once more "and I love you way more" she sat back up and they stared at each other for a long moment, just taking in each others presence. "Right, fancy some chocolate as a change from fruit, I'll go the shop?" She proposed with a cheeky grin "how about chocolate popcorn?" He replied with a smirk. Amber laughed "Chocolate popcorn it is then, don't be dying on me whilst I'm gone!" She joked which caused Ethan to laugh "what, die before I get my chocolate popcorn?! I wouldn't dare!" he joked, they both laughed together. "I love you Amber" he spoke as his smile dropped, "I love you too, see you in a minute!" She turned and headed for the shop, giving Ethan a wave through the window as she passed.

The smile slowly dropped from his face. It was all too much for him. Just laying and talking and pretending he's not as worse off as he actually is, it was taking it's toll on him. "You need your rest" Rita spoke as she inspected him, Ethan nodded slowly closing his eyes. "He's deteriorating, I'm beginning to get concerned" he could hear Rita and Connie whisper to each other. "I'm fine" he opened his eyes to meet the concerned gaze of them both "you obviously are not" Connie stated firmly "I'm just tired, you're doing an amazing job. I just need some sleep, please" Ethan replied urging them to leave. "I'm not leaving until you become stable again." Connie protested. Ethan sighed, he didn't have it in him to argue, he closed his eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep.

"How's he doing?" Cal asked as Connie left Ethan's room now satisfied that he was stable. "He's doing well" she replied confidently. "Great" Cal smiled as he went to enter Ethan's room but was stopped in his tracks by Connie holding her hand in front of the door. Cal looked at her confused "I'm on my break" he explained "I know that. Ethan needs his rest, he's just this moment got to sleep and for you to wake him wouldn't do him any good" she informed. "I won't wake him" Cal smiled "Cal, just leave it for now, see him when he's awake and stronger" Connie protested still with her hand in front of the doorway. Cal looked at her unaware of why she wouldn't let him in "Cal, he's fine" she reassured him, "oh, Honey!" Connie called after Honey who was passing, "Cal could do with a coffee" she handed Cal over to her "Okay come on let's go" Honey led Cal away. He turned to see Ethan's room, for some reason something didn't feel right, he felt like he should be in that room, for some reason that he couldn't quite put his finger on.


	21. Chapter 21

**Okay so here's the next chapter, I hope you all like it, I enjoyed writing it. I'd love to know what you all think of it, Kayxxx x**

"Ethan" A familiar voice quietly whispered from the distance. "Ethan?" The voice repeated. Ethan slowly opened up his eyes to find the voice. Suddenly he felt a hand intertwine with his, he looked down and to his surprise he saw the hand. It was pale white, almost glowing. He knew this hand, it was a hand he'd held many times during his lifetime. He looked up to find his mother smiling beautifully down at him "oh my boy" she whispered as she stroked his hand. "Mother?" Ethan smiled. He sat up in his bed. "I've missed you" he admitted as tears began to fill up in his eyes. "I don't want no tears now" she spoke softly, Ethan held back his cry. "I've been here the whole time, Ethan, I never left" she smiled. He pulled his mother in for a hug, he was surprised by how real she felt. He could smell her, she smelt just how he'd remembered, they held each other tightly. "I can't wait to tell Cal about this dream, he won't believe it" he laughed amazed. "If you wake up now you can tell him" his mother smiled as she looked into his eyes. "But that means this dream will end, that you'll go" he came to realisation "I don't want to loose you again, not yet" she stroked his blonde hair as she kissed his forehead. "Don't you worry, you'll never loose me again my boy, I promise" she whispered. Ethan kept his face buried into his mother so she couldn't see that he was crying. He didn't know why he was crying, he wasn't sad, he wasn't in any pain, he was just crying. His mother pulled away to find her son had tears rolling down his face, she gently wiped them away off his cheeks that had no bruising, no cuts, no wounds. "Shh" she smiled as she wiped his tears. "If you could go anywhere in the world right at this moment, where would you go?" She spoke lifting his chin with her finger. "The beach" Ethan smiled as he reminisced the time he'd spent with his mother and brother on the beach when he was a child.

He looked up to find himself standing on that very beach, his mother stood beside him. There was a gentle breeze that blew, as the waves gently hugged the shore. The sun was setting, everything was peaceful, everything was perfect. He looked around him, everything was just how he'd remembered it being all those years ago. He hugged his mother and they stood side by side watching the sun set, both with smiles on their faces. This was the happiest Ethan had felt in years. As the beach turned into darkness he looked back at the place they'd sat and made sand castles when he was younger to see they were still there, standing strong.

There was a boy sitting down next to them with his head buried into his knees. Ethan slowly made his way over to the young boy and sat down beside him to find the boy was crying. "Are you okay?" Ethan asked concerned, the boy didn't flinch. "Excuse me, are you okay?" Ethan asked once again. The boy looked up and frantically looked around him as if he were looking for someone, as if he were lost. As the boy looked up Ethan fell backward with shock. This boy wasn't just any boy, this was Cal, but it was a younger Cal, the Cal that was there the day they went to the beach. "Cal?!" Ethan called as he looked at his brother stunned to see how young he looked. He couldn't really recall his brother being so young as he was even younger so to see him was a huge eye-opener. "Caleb everything is going to be okay, I've got you" Ethan reassured as he wrapped his arms around his brother. Cal continued to weep, "please come back Ethan, please" he sobbed as he buried his head back into his knees. "Come back? Cal I'm right here" Ethan spoke looking at him confused. "He can't see you, or hear you" their mother explained as she sat down in front of the brothers.

Ethan then began to recall a dream Cal had spoken about a couple of months back. It was a dream that Cal had had when he thought Ethan wasn't going to make it after his car accident. He sat alone on the beach in the dark waiting for someone to come and tell him everything is going to be okay and pick him back up again, but no one came because that was Ethan's job and Ethan was gone. He looked at his brother unaware of how he could help. He still kept his arms wrapped tightly around his brother even though he couldn't see him or feel him, in desperate attempt to comfort him. "Mum tell me what I can do to make him better, please! Look at him!" Ethan cried desperately to his mother. "Did Cal ever tell you the end of his dream?" His mother asked. "No?" Ethan replied confused as to why that mattered. "Just wait" she smiled. Ethan looked back down at Cal, still holding him tight.

Suddenly someone kneeled down I front of them, a young girl the same age as Cal. Cal looked up at her and they hugged. Ethan sat observing unknowing as to what was happening. "He's gone" Cal cried as he hugged the girl "he's not, he'll always be with you, I bet he's watching us right now" Cal pulled away from the girl, his tears had now stopped pouring. He suddenly wasn't so young, he was the Cal Ethan knew today "do you think?" Cal spoke as he looked at the girl. "I know so." she smiled. The girl too was no longer young, she was a girl that Ethan knew all so well "Amber?" He looked at her stunned. She looked at him and smiled before helping Cal to his feet, "everything is going to be okay Cal" she spoke softly. They turned and slowly disappeared into the distance, Amber kept her arm around Cal, leading the way. Ethan slowly rose and watched them walk away. "He's going to be okay isn't he mum?" Ethan whimpered to his mother who stood beside him watching the pair walk, "yes son, he's going to be just fine" she smiled and took hold of his hand.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

"What are you doing out here? I thought you'd be with Ethan, aren't you on a break?" Lofty questioned as he saw Cal sitting with a cup of coffee in his hand. "Connie said he needs his rest" Cal replied staring down at his cup deep in thought. "That's true, he was in a bad way last time I saw him" Lofty stated in agreement. Cal looked up suddenly "when was this?" He asked confused, his brother seemed fine the last time he saw him. "Last night" Lofty replied, "he couldn't even turn his head he was in that much pain, he looked exhausted so I left him to have some rest" he added. Cal looked at him confused, "he was fine when I saw him, he was talking and laughing" Cal spoke slowly, he knew something was wrong. "Really?" Lofty looked at him in stunned, "well there's no way he could've done that last night, he couldn't even keep his eyes open" he explained, still stunned. "Maybe that's a good sign though, he's getting better" Max smiled trying to reassure Cal. "Or maybe he was pretending to be okay, he does that a lot" Lofty spoke firmly. "No one can be that good of an actor, surely!" Max replied trying to keep the conversation on the brighter side seeing how it was getting to Cal. "Connie just said he's doing good, so he's doing good" Cal replied sharply as he turned away from Lofty. "Good, well there's nothing to worry about then is there?" Lofty replied in the same firm tone Cal had spoken to him in.

There was a sudden noise that seemed to echo around the entire hospital grabbing everyone's attention. This noise was a noise no body wanted to hear, yet a noise that everyone, deep down, was expecting. It was like it all happened in slow motion. The line of Ethan's heart rate became a constant flat line and he drew is last breath, Connie and Rita ran in to begin CPR, everyone outside who were trying their hardest to work all looked up at the same time, they all knew. Cal looked toward the room as he saw his colleagues run in to help. He stood to his feet unaware of what to do, Max's first instinct was to grab him before he had a chance to run to the room.

1...2...3... Connie desperately pressed down on the young doctor's chest in hope to get his heart beating again. She looked at his bruised and battered face in determination as she continued to work. Cal tried his best to fight off Max and now Lofty, who were both holding him back "Ethan!" He cried as the pair pulled him away. Rita stared at Ethan haunted by what was happening desperately hoping he'd open his eyes and take another breath. Connie continued to pump hard on his chest shaking her head as tears filled up in her eyes, she could no longer see through the blur of tears that had filled her eyes but she didn't want to take her attention off Ethan for a second for her to wipe them away. She looked toward the clock. Ten minutes. It had been ten minutes since that awful, ear ripping sound made it's way from the machine the man was hooked up to. Ten minutes since Ethan's heart had stopped beating. Rita stepped up to take over Connie's job. Connie turned to see Cal desperately trying to fight off his colleagues and get to his little brother, tears were streaming down his face. She turned back to face Rita and Ethan, who's heart had not taken a beat for 15 minutes now.

It was like every press on Ethan's chest brought physical pain to his older brother, the longer they pressed, the harder the pain became to bare. Connie slowly walked over to Rita and placed her hand on hers ordering her to stop. Rita slowed as she looked up to meet Connie's gaze, both had tears pouring down their faces, Connie shook her head and Rita stepped down. "Time of death.." Connie's words were drowned out by the sound of Cal's cries "No!" He Cried as he gave in, he collapsed to the floor in floods of tears. He looked up to the window of Ethan's room to see Connie slowly closing the blinds. "He's not dead, he's not dead!" Cal cried repeatedly as his colleagues gathered around him helping him to his feet, all in complete shock, he kept his eyes fully focused on Ethan's room. "I'm so sorry mate" Max cried as he held him tight, although Max held him, he couldn't feel him. Everything sounded distant, everything seemed to be unreal, it was like he was dreaming. "No he was fine, you said he was fine" Cal spoke, pulling himself together more as Connie walked towards him "I was talking to him an hour ago!" He continued in disbelief. "I'm sorry for your loss" Connie spoke as she placed a comforting hand on the younger man's shoulder. Cal couldn't comprehend the words she'd just spoken to him "no" he shook her hand off ,"this is all your fault, he was fine when I left him in your care." He spoke as tears of rage filled up in his eyes. "There was nothing we could do" Connie tried to reassure the broken man. "Nothing you could do?! He was fine, he was up talking and joking, he was fine. I left him in your care and he died. He died in your care" Cal angrily shouted in the elder woman's face, wiping away his tears. "There was nothing we could do" Connie repeated holding up her hands trying to calm the angered man. His anger had taken over his body, he didn't see this woman as his friend or has his colleague, he saw her as the woman who'd let his younger brother die. He took deep breaths desperately trying to stop himself for launching toward the clinical lead. "He died because of you" he spoke as he brought his face close to hers. "Doctor Knight, lower your voice or I'll have to suspend you" she warned. "Suspend me?!" He repeated with a laugh "Do it, sack me for all I care, I wouldn't want to work alongside a killer" he whispered in her ear, "to think I actually fancied you" he looked toward the woman in disgust.

"Cal?" A familiar voice called from behind him which made his heart sink. He closed his eyes as pain filled his entire body. "Caleb?" The voice spoke again, he sucked in his tears and slowly turned to find Amber stood before him, holding a packet of chocolate popcorn. "Have you been crying?" She laughed, "someone has broken the tin man?!" She continued to joke sarcastically. Robyn walked over to Amber and placed her hand on her shoulder, "what?" Amber smiled unknowing of what was happening. "Cal, what's up?" She asked becoming concerned as she looked at the faces of all her colleagues who looked at her sympathetically. She looked to the side, into Ethan's room to see his machine was switched off. She looked back towards Cal slowly coming to realisation. "Is this a joke?" She her voice cracking as she spoke, she took a step forward to see Ethan's face was covered by a sheet. "This is a joke. Right Cal? This is one of your stupid jokes that aren't really that funny but everyone just laughs anyway so it's not awkward, it's all a joke...Ethan?" tears began to stream down the young girls face as Cal slowly made his way to her shaking his head. "No" he managed to whisper before he broke down. Amber's body felt weak, she dropped the bag she held in her hands causing it to spill all over the hospital floor. As each piece of chocolate popcorn bounced it's way to stillness Amber's heart plummeted. Cal took her in his arms as they both sobbed together in disbelief. Both held each other tightly as if they were keeping each other together, as if if either of them were to let go they would completely break and shatter into thousands of pieces on the floor.

**I'm sorry everyone /3 I've been dreading posting this chapter because I know you'll all kill me :') Don't hate me too much, I would understand if you do, but it is just a story! :') this was something I had to keep reminding myself of when I wrote this story "it's just a story, it's just a story.." Writing this chapter literally broke my heart haha, I'm just so happy nothing like this happened in Casualty, what would we do without Nibbles?! ;) As you can tell I'm now coming to the end of my first ever published story and I just want to say thank you so much for the support along the way! All your reviews have been lovely to read, it was nice to see so many of you were enjoying! I'm currently thinking of ideas for a new story, Casualty obviously. Some of you have been PMing me suggestions for my next story which are appreciated! I've anyone has any suggestions or requests please let me know it really would be appreciated. Thanks again for everything, there are still a few chapters to come in this story...that is if you don't all hate me too much from this chapter ;p love, Kayxxx **


	23. Chapter 23

**Here's the next chapter, how will Cal and Amber cope without Ethan? I just wanted to say thank for the reviews and PMs on my last chapter, it's nice to see people understand how I want this story to be taken and I'm glad you're enjoy it so much! For all those asking for an alternate ending I may add it on after the story is ended, if that will keep you happy ;) If I do decide to write an alternate ending it will mean the story will have two endings, the one I originally planned on publishing and the alternate one. Anyways, here's the next chapter, thanks again for the comments, Kayxxx**

Chapter 23

Cal and Amber had sat in silence in the room where Ethan lay for nearly an hour now. Cal looked down towards the ground and shook his head "he's gone" he spoke breaking the hour long silence, his voice cracked as he done so,"he's really gone" he spoke again in disbelief. His voice sounded distant, vulnerable. Amber looked at him and placed her hand on his knee "he's not, he'll always here he'll always be with you, I bet he's watching us right now" she whispered in attempt to comfort the broken man that sat before her. Cal lifted his head out of his hands. She looked at him he looked completely worn out, it looked as though he had permanent tear stained cheeks, his face was drained of colour to match exactly how he felt. Drained.

He took a deep breath and composed himself, just doing this brought colour back to his face, he looked more himself, he looked strong, determined. "Well if he his watching us right now he wouldn't want us sitting around crying" he forced a smile as he looked down at Amber who was trying her hardest to be strong, for Cal. Ethan had told her about how he's no good at showing his emotions, he'd hide them up as much as possible and pretend to be strong even though inside he was broken. He was much like his brother in that way. She knew that Ethan wanted her to be there for Cal and so she made sure that would happen. He placed his arm around her and pulled her in, gently hugging her. "You're all I've got left now" Cal whispered as he buried his face into her blonde hair. It was like Cal knew that she was being strong for him, it was like he knew she needed him as much as he needed her. "You're all I have too" she spoke, her voice muffled by Cal's body. Cal pulled away as he felt his tears brimming in his eyes yet again. He took hold of Amber's hand and kissed it, "I've always wanted a little sister" he smiled. They both looked toward the window to see Max, Lofty, Robyn and Honey looking in awkwardly, all trying to act as though they hadn't been crying except Max, he let the tears fall and he watched his broken best friend saying his last goodbyes to his little brother. "I guess we're going to have to face them sometime" Cal rolled his eyes and stood to his feet. Amber walked toward the door waiting for Cal as he stood next to Ethan's bed looking down.

He stood for a moment, taking in his last moment with his little brother. He thought about all the memories he had with him, all the times Ethan had been there for him, all the fun they had when they were younger. He closed his eyes and thought about Ethan and their mother, the two most amazing people he'd ever known. With this comforting thought he smiled, and looked back down at Ethan "I love you mate" he whimpered as he stroked Ethan's hand. He gave him a smile and turned to leave the room.

He placed his hand on the doorknob. "I hate this part" Amber stated, "it's all "I'm sorry for your loss" and "if there's anything I can do.." Blah blah blah, then there's the sympathetic looks that everyone gives you, It's only just stopped with my mum" she admitted. "We'll get through this together" Cal smiled as he took hold of her hand, they looked at each other in determination, readying themselves before Cal pulled open the door to be met by Charlie. "Oh, um, I'm sorry for your loss, if there is anything at all I can do, please let me know" he looked toward the pair sympathetically. Amber looked at Cal knowingly, he looked down at her and laughed slightly. "Thank you Charlie, it means a lot" Amber spoke softly as she looked back to meet his gaze. "And so it begins" Cal whispered sarcastically as they made their way out of the hospital.

*one week later*

Cal stood in the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror. He focused hard on his face, he looked drained, tired, lost. He splashed his face with water and took one last look of himself in the mirror. He fiddled with his tie, undoing it, redoing it, undoing it, redoing it, he couldn't get it perfect. He sighed and slumped down sitting on the edge of the bath with his untied tie in his hands. He closed his eyes and thought about Ethan and why today was so important. The thought of saying him final goodbyes to his little brother brought both determination and fear to Cal. Saying goodbye means he's gone, it means it's all real and this thought frightened Cal the most but, he also wanted the opportunity to say goodbye to him, to thank him, he knew he'd only regret it if he didn't.

There was a light knock on the door and Amber popped her head in the bathroom. "You've undone it again!" She sighed as she saw Cal holding his tie. "I can't get it right! Ethan.." He stopped himself as mentioning his brother's name pained him, "..he would've gotten it perfect first time" he slowly shook his head and buried his face into his hands. "Here, let me do it" Amber smiled as she sat down on the floor before him, taking his tie out of his hands. "There" she smiled as she completed her tying, "perfect". Cal stood up and looked in the mirror "thank you" he called as he looked at his, now perfectly tied, tie. "Are you ready? The cars are outside" Amber whispered as she took hold of Cal's hand. He looked at her as fear took over his body, he tried to speak but no words came out so he shook his head. "I can't do this" he managed to whimper. "Yes you can. Caleb I know this is hard, _believe me_, I do. But you need to do this, for Ethan." She tried to reassure him. Cal shook his head. "We'll get through this together, remember?" Amber forced out a smile as she took hold of Cal's hand. He looked at her hand that was intertwined with his, it was shaking slightly. He came to the realisation that he needed to be there for Amber too because obviously it was getting to her, although she was acting strong for Cal, she wasn't. She was broken just like Cal. "Together" Cal nodded as he squeezed her hand tightly. They headed out the door and toward the cars, hand in hand.


	24. Chapter 24

**Here is the next chapter of Ethan's safety net, How will Cal cope at Ethan's funeral? Just wanted to say again thanks for all the reviews and PMs on my story I love hearing what you all think. As this story will be ending quite soon I'm still open to any requests or ideas for my next story if anyone has any, let me know it will be appreciated! Love, Kayxxx **

Chapter 24

Cal and Amber took their seats at the front of the church, first aisle, right by the alter. Cal looked around him to find colleagues, friends and even neighbours of Ethan, although, no family members were there as Cal as the only family member Ethan had left. Well, the only family member that mattered anyway. It warmed his heart to see so many turned up to show their respects to his little brother, there must've been around about 50 people sitting in the church, it was almost full. Cal reached into his blazer pocket and pulled out a piece of paper that looked as though it had been folded and unfolded a thousand times. He opened it up to show the word messily "eulogy" scribbled at the top of the page. He stared at it intently as he held it in his shaking hands. "Cal?" Amber whispered seeing the service was about to being, "Cal!" She nudged him causing his to snap out of his thoughts. He looked up at her with tears in his eyes, he was still deep in thought "are you okay?" She asked seeing how distant he looked. "I..I need some air" he shoved his eulogy back into his pocket and stormed out of the church. All eyes watched him as he made his way out. "Is he okay?" Rita whispered into Amber's ear. She didn't know how to answer, no obviously he was not okay, he's just lost his little brother. Amber stood up and went after Cal.

As she walked out of the church she saw Cal sitting on a bench with his head in his hands. She sat down beside him and stayed quiet, leaving him to talk when he was ready. "Amber I can't do this" he spoke as he looked up to meet her concerned gaze, "I know he's gone and I have to say goodbye but I just can't. I feel like if I don't say goodbye then he's not really gone, you know? And then I have this eulogy to read and I can't even get through the first sentence without crying Amber it hurts me to read it I just can't." He placed his head back into his hands again, trying to hide the fact he was crying. Amber began to rummage through her bag before she pulled out something and held it out for Cal to take "here" she smiled. Cal looked up to find Amber holding Ethan's scarf, the scarf that barely ever left his neck, it automatically brought a smile to Cal's face. "it will hide your ridiculous excuse for a tie..you undid it again didn't you?" She joked causing Cal to laugh as he put it around his neck. "Thank you" he smiled, he felt instantly comforted by just this one gesture, it made him feel like Ethan was with him. "Mate, it's starting" Max called as he made his way out the church in search of Cal. Cal and Amber stood and made their way back into the church "Amber?" Cal stopped at the doorway "will you come up to the Alter with me when I have to read? It will make me feel better knowing you're there" he admitted looking down at his crumpled up eulogy. "Of course" she smiled.

Amber stood at the alter, eulogy in her shaking hands. She took a deep breath and began. "Ethan Hardy was the most amazing person I've ever met and I absolutely loved the bones of that man" she stopped to compose herself "and I still do. Without him I wouldn't be here today as, as most of you know we first met when he treated me at a car crash and without him I wouldn't have made it out and so I owe my entire life to that man. A lot of you know what Ethan went through the last couple of months of his life and knowing this makes me so proud of him, knowing how brave and strong he was, he was an extremely strong man. A lot of people have told me that I fixed Ethan when I met him, that I made him become himself again, someone even said that I was his guardian angel" she smiled sadly looking down, "but Ethan would refer to me as his safety net. I did some research before I wrote this, just as Ethan would do, he'd never write something down without doing some homework first, voluntarily of course, being the geek that he is" she joked causing the crowd to chuckle knowingly. "The definition of a safety net is something that provides protection or security. This made me think, I felt honoured the fact that he saw me in that was but I'm nothing special. I was just doing what everyone else around him was doing, he just seemed to take to me more. The more I thought about it, the more I realised that Ethan was the safety net. As a doctor, as a brother, as a son and as a friend. He was always there to protect those around him, to make people better, to make people smile and to just always be there for them" she looked up at Cal who gave her a smile to continue. "That's the type of person Ethan Hardy was, I'll always love you and miss you Ethan" she looked over to see Ethan's coffin that was covered in flowers and she let her tears fall.

Cal made his way to the alter, Amber stood beside him. He placed his tattered eulogy on the stand and looked up to see everyone watching him. He took a deep breath and began. "Ethan" he stopped as saying his name still brought him pain, he could hear the quiet whispers of everyone in the church. "Ethan wasn't a very good public speaker, I would always tease him because his stutter would play up, so let's just hope I don't find out today that that stutter runs in the family" the crowd chuckled quietly. "I just want to start off first by saying thank you to everyone for coming today, I know it would mean a lot to Ethan" he paused so he could regain his composure before starting again.

"Ethan Hardy was an incredibly smart man, he was an amazing person and doctor and he was a complete and utter nerd" the crowd laughed knowingly Cal smiled sadly looking back down at his paper. "He may've been a nerd but he was my little brother and without him God knows where I'd be, the amount of times Ethan would be there to pick me back up again and make sure I found my way made me rely on him to be there constantly. I always knew that wouldn't be true but I hoped the reason would be because I'd grown up a bit and didn't need him constantly there, not this." He shook his head as tears fell from his eyes. "What Amber said about Ethan being a safety net is exactly true, he was definitely mine! I just wish I'd spent more time listening and talking to him than I did teasing him, because he was extremely wise, he gave the best advise." He stopped and turned to look at the picture of his little brother that was placed on top of his coffin "I can only wish that he was still here for me to tease and make fun off, my geeky little Nibbles..but, instead all I'm left with is memories, and these memories I will cherish forever." He broke down and tears began to stream down his face, "are you okay?" Amber whispered in his ear as he cried "shall we leave it there?" She spoke softly. "No, I need to finish, for him" he spoke through his cry. "Growing up, me and Ethan were always taught to keep our emotions hidden, "it's the best way to be a man" my idiot of a father would say, and yet here I am crying a river in front of about 50 people" he closed his eyes tightly, desperately trying to stop his tears.

As he done this the church door opened. Cal looked up to find an old man walk in and take the last seat at the back. Cal stared at him as hatred build up inside of him, he kept his eyes completely focused on the man at the back as his tears came to a stop. All the watching crowd turned to see what it was that Cal's eyes were so drawn to. Seeing everyone turn made Cal snap out of his stare and he continued to read "The only thing that's keeping me sane through this completely mental turn of events is the thought that he's now reunited with our mother" he smiled as he thought of then both. "Although I may have teased him, Ethan was the best person I knew and I can only wish I were more like him, Ethan, you were always there to protect me, you're my little brother and my best friend and I will never forget you." He turned to look at his brother's picture once more "I love you Nibbles".

The ceremony continued and Cal took his seat back down I between Amber and Max who sat either side of him. There wasn't one person in the church who was left dry eyed after Cal's speech. "You did good mate" Max spoke through his cry to Cal. Cal felt as though he was floating, nothing felt real to him and he desperately hoped none of it was. He kept his eyes fully focused on the ground throughout the remaining ceremony, deep in thought. All that was running through his mind was the man sat at the back, the thought of him angered Cal. As the ceremony ended and people made there way to Cal to praise him on his speech, he stood to his feet and stormed out of the church grabbing the old man who came in half way through by the scruff of the neck, pulling him out with him.

He violently threw the elder man to the ground outside the church. "What the hell are you doing here?!" Cal roared, the crowds from inside ran out to see what all the commotion was about. "Calm down" the man spoke mockingly as he stood to his feet and brushed the dirt off his suit. "I'm here to pay my respects" the man continued. "Respects?! What respects do you have for Ethan?! You walked out on us when he was five, he could barely even remember you" Cal looked toward the man in disgust. "He's my son Caleb" the man stated. "Don't you dare call him your son! You were never a father to him" Cal warned. "Son.." The man began but Cal cut him off, "don't Call me your son!" Cal roared, "how could you have the audacity to show your face after all these years?! You couldn't be there for any of his life but you'd jump at the opportunity of being at his funeral!" Cal shook his head in disgust at his so called father.

"Cal!" Amber ran to grab him seeing how angered he was greeting but was stopped by Max who pulled her back. Amber knew this time would come, Cal had been burring his emotions for too long. When Ethan let out his bottled up emotions he would cry but with Cal, it tented to come out more as anger. "Caleb, I know how you must be feeling and I know how much you hate me, you made that clear as day ever since you were tiny" his father spoke slowly edging his way closer to him "you've been drinking" Cal cut him off smelling his father's breath. "You're still the same. A useless, old, drunk. That should be your funeral. Not Ethan's" Cal stated in realisation, disgusted at the man who stood before him. "How dare you" his father replied angrily. It was then when it became clear to Amber just where Cal had gotten his anger outburst from; his father. Before his father got the chance to say another word Cal hit him square in the face causing him to fall backwards onto the ground. The watching crowd gasped. "You should be dead, not him. A good man lost his life last week and there are still low-life's like you walking around the place?!" Cal angrily screamed as he launched forward to his father again, but being pulled away by Lofty and Charlie. "Come on Cal, not today" Charlie whispered as he pulled Cal away. "Wow" his father laughed, impressed. "You've still got a good fight in you" he called to Cal through the blood pouring from his nose. Tears of rage began to pour from Cal's eyes as he watched his father drunkenly stand to his feet. "Think of Ethan" Amber whispered as she tugged on Ethan's scarf around Cal's neck trying to distract him. "I think it's best you leave sir" Charlie stated firmly, standing between Cal and his father. "Listen you're not wanted here so I think you should leave before I make you" Max threatened squaring up to Cal's father. "Before you make me" Cal's father replied with a laugh. "Max!" Charlie shouted seeing Max's fists clench at his sides.

A few of the crowd members led Cal's father away and all attention turned on him. "Are you okay?" Seemed to be the only words on everyone's lips. "I'm fine" Cal spoke angrily silencing the crowd of concerned guests. "Let's just go to the wake" he spoke, more calmly as he made his way to the car. He closed his eyes and desperately hoped for today to come to an end.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

At the wake Cal had one plan and one plan only: to get drunk. This was something he had become a pro in over the years and so he made sure to drink until his vision was blurred, as he usually did. No one brought up Cal's dad, knowing how he was feeling. Everyone just acted as though it didn't happen and hoped to god he didn't turn up at the wake, for Cal's sake. Seeing how Cal was with his father opened up everyone's eyes. It made them see that no matter how much you think you know someone, they still have past and unsolved problems that will lay untouched for many many years. With Cal being so strong everyone thought he'd be the last person on earth to have problems like this, they were wrong.

After he got down his first few drinks he actually started to enjoy himself, that was something he didn't think would happen. Instead of him sitting around crying over his brother's death Max had suggested turning the wake into more of a celebration of his life rather than a wake, in attempt to take Cal's mind off both Ethan and his Father just for the night at least. Cal spent the night playing drinking games with the rest of his colleagues, with each drink downed was "To Ethan". Amber sat with Rita and Robyn for the majority of the night, watching the boys getting blind drunk.

As the night came to an end and the bar began to close, Amber, Robyn, Max, Lofty and Cal were the last ones standing, well if you could call it that. Max was unconscious slumped across the bar, snoring slightly. Lofty sat next to him, his eyes drooping as he desperately tried to fight his sleep. Robyn was only tipsy whereas Amber had barely touched a drink all night. And as for Cal, he sat at the bar staring intently into his empty glass. Amber and Robyn talked quietly amongst themselves.

"Amber!" Cal called causing a half-asleep Lofty to jump, "yes?" She called back laughing slightly at how slurred his speech was. Cal spun on his chair and turned to face Amber and Robyn. "You know what's weird?" He slurred. "What?" Amber chuckled. "I fancy near enough every girl I look at right, it's the truth girls just fascinate me. If he was awake right now he'd high-five me but he's not.." he poked Max who was flat out beside him, "but with you, I never did. Nothing against you of course, you're beautiful and smart and stuff but I just never tried with you. It was like I knew you were meant for my brother. I made a pact with myself that I'd ask you out, just once to see what would happen and you know what did? You turned me down" he continued to explain drunkenly. "Oh sorry for that" Amber laughed, looking toward Robyn confused. "No, don't be sorry because the reason you turned me down is because you had already made plans with Ethan!" He slumped down off his stool and stumbled toward Amber "you were meant for him" Cal smiled as he leaned on the table the girls were sat on. Robyn nodded in agreement as she looked toward Amber who looked down, smiling sadly. "I miss him you know, god I miss him! Every time the door opened tonight I kept thinking it would be him but it wasn't" Cal admitted. "But you know what? Although I miss him I'm sort of happy because I know that he's happy, he's with mum and he doesn't have to hide his pain anymore." He continued. Amber smiled as she looked toward Cal as she knew that a drunk man's words were a sober man's thoughts, although it may take some time, Cal would be fine.

Cal stumbled out of the taxi, being held up by Amber. She helped him in the stairs and laid him gently in his bed, "what time is it?" Cal slurred. "Just gone 4am" Amber replied looking at her phone. "I have to cut down on the 4am pub calls" Cal laughed as he pulled off his shirt. "Good night Caleb" Amber laughed confused and made her way into Ethan's room.

Everything looked the same, everything neatly placed. Even his pyjamas were still folded at the bottom of his bed. Amber smiled as she climbed into his bed and lay her head on the pillow. Just as she went to which off the lamp she recalled something at caught her attention the last time she was here. Ethan's journal. She rummaged under the pillow and opened up the journal and flicked through to the page she'd last written on, to her surprise to finding a new page titled "_Dear Amber_" she closed her eyes and readied herself for what she was about to read.  
><em><br>__"Dear Amber,__  
><em>_I don't quite know when I'll give you this letter but I do have plans on slipping it into your locker sometime this week. This is just a letter of all the things I want to say to you but I either chicken out or don't find the right time. I just wanted to start off first by saying thank you. You don't understand the amount of times I felt like running away or giving up, but you made me want to stay, and try again. God Amber you are something special, when I look at you I just forget every single thing that ever bothered me and I just see, you. I know how hard things have been for you with your mother passing and I know you've been trying to stay strong for me but I just want you to know that no matter what I'll always be here for you, I promise. ___

_I'm going to try and put this next part into a way it won't offend you by saying you remind me of an 80 year old woman but... My mother was the most amazing, down to earth, caring person I have ever met in my entire life and you remind me so much of her. Not necessarily looks wise, (although you do smile sometimes and it makes me think of her, she had the most beautiful smile.) but the way you are, my mother always made me feel safe and happy and that's exactly how I feel around you. Also the way you are with Cal, it's like he has a connection to you, I've never seen him open up to anyone but our mother before but when Lofty told me he saw him talking to you on the day or your accident, I knew. You were something special. ___

_So with this I know that if anything were to ever happen to me, Cal would be just fine because he'd have you. I know I don't have to ask but please look out for him, I know he can get extremely annoying at times but if you stick by him you get to see he's not all that bad. ___

_I once met a woman who told me quote "once you meet a girl that makes your heart smile, never let them go" and that's exactly why I could never let you go Amber, I'm sorry but whether you like it or not you're stuck with me. Amber Green I love you more than all the chocolate popcorn the world has to offer, I don't know the exact amount I'm currently in the process of googling it but I'm guessing there's a lot, well at least I hope so. I'm sort of regretting writing that down now but it's written in pen and so my only option is to either scribble it out or start again and I don't fancy doing either of them as I have another letter to write out. Okay, enough of the awkwardness, Amber I love you so so much thank___

_Love from, your Ethan."_

Tears trickled down Amber's cheeks as she ran her fingers across the indents the pen had made with the paper. She wasn't crying because she was unhappy, or missing Ethan (although she did) she was crying because just seeing this brought her peace of mind, knowing how he felt about her, it was like she'd gotten the chance to say goodbye. She smiled at the fact he could still sound as awkward in a letter as he was in real life, she was so thankful that he'd written this letter, it was something she could keep of his and cherish forever. Whenever she wanted to see Ethan again, she could just pull out that letter and he would be right there. She teared out the page and held it close to her heart.

As she went to close the journal she noticed another page behind the one she'd just ripped out titled "_Dear Caleb_", she knew that this was exactly what Cal needed to see right now and so without reading another word she ripped the page out and headed for Cal's room excitedly. Although it had only been a mere 10 minutes Cal was already unconscious, flat out in his bed snoring slightly. Amber folded up the letter and placed it on his bedside table, next to a picture Cal had framed of him, Ethan and their mother when they were younger.

The next morning Amber was awoken by the sound of a cheerful whistle coming from downstairs. She followed the whistle to find it was coming from Caleb, in the kitchen. "Good morning" Cal smiled as he placed a plate I front of her. Amber sat down at the table confused as to why Cal was so cheery. "Full English" he smiled, "thanks" she spoke still confused. Cal continued his whistling as he carried on cooking. "Watch this!" He called to Amber as he attempted to flip a pancake from his pan. He failed miserably. The pancake barely did half a flip before it hit the ground. Cal and Amber laughed as he bent down to pick it up. As he kneeled over Amber noticed something in his back pocket, Ethan's letter. That must be the reason why he was being so happy. It must of brought his peace of mind too. "You know Amber.." Cal pulled out Ethan's letter and turned to face her. "I'm going to be fine. We're going to be fine. I've been ordered to look out for you by the boss" he waved the letter to her and laughed slightly. Ethan must've said the same in his letter as he did in hers, so they'd both have someone to lean on. "Even though he's gone, he'll still be our safety net" Cal whispered as he hugged Amber tight. "We're going to be fine." he whispered once more with a smile. He knew that they truly were going to be just, fine.

**Okay so that is it for my fist story. I really hope you all enjoyed. I just wanted to say thank you for all the support during this. Special thank you's to Jinxy13112, Rebloxic, CBloom2, theverystuffoflife, and Becs2202 and anyone that I may have missed, who've been constantly reviewing and reading Ethans's safety net. I've loved writing for you all, if anyone has any requests or ideas for more stories that you'd like me to write please let me know via review or PM. What I wanted people to see for this story is exactly what theverystuffoflife left in a review on chapter 22 so I'm happy it got took that way, thanks Bethany :p Anyways, this was my first story and it defiantly won't be my last so stay tuned! Love, Kayxxx**

**Ps who watch casualty last night?! Ethan's got his confidence back woooo! Oh and he defiantly found his Honey alright! Haha :') x**


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Time passes by.

It had been just over two years since Ethan's death. It was the 20th of March. A date that had brought dread. It was Ethan's 30th birthday.

Amber slowly made her way through the mud, flowers in one hand, a scrunched up tissue in the other. As she reached Ethan's grave she stood before it staring at his photo "Happy birthday" she smiled sadly and took a seat on a bench that had been placed there especially for Ethan's visitors. "I miss you" she sighed, "every day I miss you, that feeling never goes away, you think it would as you start to move on but it doesn't, every time I think about you, think about the fact I'll never get to see you again it physically hurts my heart...God Ethan I miss you so much" Amber buried her face into her hands as she allowed her tears to fall. "You should be here with us now and we should all be joking about how you're getting old and trying to persuade you to go out and get drunk to celebrate, which of course you would be strongly against, you being you and all...Did you know Cal was planning on getting you a stripper? Imagine that!" Amber laughed before she sighed yet again. "I actually thought I couldn't go on living without you in my life but there was one amazing thing that changed everything-" Amber was cut off.

"Mum!" a distant voice of a child called. Amber looked up to find Cal making his way over to her, hand in hand with a small blonde boy. "Where have you two been?" Amber smiled as the pair approached her, "we went to see Nanny" the boy explained as he let go of Cal's hand and ran towards her. Amber threw a caring glance at Cal whose eyes were bloodshot from crying as he'd just returned from visiting his mother's grave, Cal smiled sadly he placed his hands in his pockets as he continued to make his way over to Ethan's grave. "I picked some flowers!" The boy spoke excitedly holding out blue and purple flowers in front of him, Amber bent down so that she was eye level with the small boy. "Oh they're beautiful!" She smiled as the boy held the flowers under her nose to smell. The boy walked over and gently laid the flowers down on Ethan's grave before turning around and half-standing behind Cal, his arms gripping onto his leg. Cal let out a deep sigh as he looked at the words engraved on the grave in front of him picking out four in particular, "beloved son and brother..." he focused on those words as his eyes blurred over due to the tears building. "How's your mum's looking?" Amber whispered to Cal as she stood to her feet, snapping him out of his thoughts that he himself hadn't even realised he'd gotten lost in, "umm" he hesitated, pulling his hands out of his pockets and wiping away his tears with the back of his hand, "It looks great" he forced out a smile swallowing hard. "We've got loads of flowers on there now haven't we mate?" Cal smiled ruffling the young boy's hair as he still had hold of Cal's leg staring at forward at Ethan's grave "yep" the boy smiled as he looked up at Cal, "I picked pink ones for her" he added. Cal picked up the boy and held him on his hip, "it looks beautiful" Cal concluded.

Silence fell once again as everyone stared blankly ahead at the grave before them, Cal still with the small boy on his hip. Cal thought about every memory ever shared with his little brother. He thought about when they were tiny children, their last talk before Ethan passed and every single moment in between. He was filled with many emotions, the main one being regret. The thing he regretted the most was not appreciating his brother as much as he should have when he was alive. He also regretted leaving his mother in the care of his little brother all those years ago, if he had stayed he wouldn't have lost the connection with his brother that took almost a year to regain. They could have been brothers forever, or at least the length of Ethan's life. Not one day went by when he didn't think about him, not one hour passed when he didn't miss him, not one minute slipped away without Cal being constantly reminded of him no longer being there, not one second has _ever_ ticked by when Cal hasn't had anything but love for his little brother Ethan.

Cal hadn't realised tears had been streaming from his eyes until the boy spoke "don't cry" he whispered and wiped away Cal's tears with his tiny fingers. Cal tried to speak but he couldn't, his emotions had taken over him and he was now stood before his brother's grave sobbing. Amber took her son from his arms and he collapsed down onto the bench holding his head in his hands continuing to weep. The sound of Cal's cry echoed around the grave yard as Amber looked down at him holding onto her son tightly. The wind gently blew through Amber's hair, ruffling through the leaves on the surrounding trees and jingling the wind chimes on Ethan's grave as Cal still sat with his head buried into his hands. The boy got himself down off Amber and slowly made his way over to where Cal was sat. Feeling a light tug on his shirt Cal looked up out of his hands to find the young boy smiling sadly at him, he then held out his hand, of in which held a blue flower that he had picked on his travels with Cal "I picked this one for you" the boy whispered. "Thanks" Cal smiled as he took the flower from the boys hand. He wiped away the last of his tears and picked the boy up sitting him on his lap. The boy buried himself into Cal as he held him tightly, Amber took a seat on the bench next to the pair.

"Tell me the story again?" The boy asked quietly "The super hero one?" Cal smiled, "Yeah that one!" the boy replied excitedly. "Well..." Cal started, the boy looked back giving his mother an excited smile before turning back to Cal "there was a guy, who at first glanced seemed quite geeky, he had huge glasses on his face and read books all the time. To many people he didn't seem like anything special, but to those close to him, they knew-" Cal was cut off by the boy who could no longer contain his excitement, "That he was a super hero!" the boy yelled "shhh, no one can know remember.." Cal whispered causing the boy to lower his voice "oh yeah oops.." he replied awkwardly. "Can you remember what he did that made him a super hero?" Cal asked quietly "Yeah he saved lives!" the boy yelled out again in excitement. "That's right! No matter how sick people were, he would always make them better again, that was his power!-" The boy cut Cal off once again "He saved my mummy's life" the boy stated with a smile, "that's right" Amber smiled as she kissed his blonde hair. "He was an incredible person, he was always there for everyone, even if they couldn't see it, he would always be there...waiting for if they ever needed him" Cal continued, "you remind me a lot of him you know" Cal smiled, "Really?!" the boy asked excitedly as if he'd always longed to hear these words, "yes, everything about you is like him, you have the same smile and the same glasses!" Cal pushed up the boy's glasses with his finger causing him to giggle. "Hmm...what was it they called him again?" Cal pretended to think as the boy's face lit up, "I know! I know! They called him "The safety net"" the boy spoke excitedly. "That's it!" Cal spoke clapping his hands together. The boy got himself down off of Cal's knee and sat on the grass before Ethan's grave stone looking up at his picture admiringly "That was his super hero name though, his real name was Ethan Hardy, just like mine!" the boy smiled as he looked over his shoulder at Cal and Amber. "He's my super hero" little Ethan smiled as he looked back at the picture in front of him. He kneeled up and kissed the picture "I love you daddy" he whispered.

"Come one Ethan, lets go home" Cal smiled as he picked up his nephew, the pair and Amber slowly made their way to their car leaving the wind to gently blow against the wind chimes on the grave they left behind.

**I had a request to post a chapter based on after Ethan's death to see how Cal and Amber had been coping and so here it is, I would really really love to know what you think of this chapter. I think this will be the last I ever post on "Ethan's Safety Net" and so I hope I didn't disappoint, thanks for the support throughout this story! Love from Kayxxx **


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